The Internet: A Love-Hate Relationship and How it Can Help or Hurt Yours

Have you ever been on those love matching websites? There are countless websites. Some are as simple as creating a few search words for your pictures all the way to finding a discrete sexual encounter with someone else. Since I am quite against all of these websites, I will not mention any of them by name. I absolutely hate the online dating sites. I don't hate the people on there, don't get me wrong. And I know a few couples that have met each other through these websites, and are happily married. Some people are just plain too busy to go out and do the bar scene or just can't find, "The one."

The Reason I Hate

These types of reasons are not why I hate the online dating sites. The reason why I have always hated them is because of how much easier it makes for someone to cheat on each other. A man or a woman could find another "mate" in the comfort of their own home, two feet away from their spouse who is sleeping in bed. Some may say, "If someone is doing that to you, chances are there are problems in the marriage or relationship in the first place."

You know, that may be so. There very well could be problems. The two may have woken up one morning, decided to fight about breakfast cereal choices and then for the rest of the day were fighting about things that happened 5 years ago. But having these online sites is making it a lot easier for these people in relationship to betray their loved one by signing on.

I knew a couple that met online in a Yahoo Chat room. They dated for four years, and they were both honestly good people. Neither of them was axe murderers or child molesters or out for the other person's money. They were just nice college kids who happened to meet online (not even looking for a relationship) and it turned into something great, for a while. However, Myspace came along.

The man in the relationship created an account innocently because all of his buddies were. And what happened? All of this guy's classmates added him to their friend's list and started leaving him extra-friendly comments. This lead to a lot of doubt from the girlfriend on what her man was up to. All of a sudden five girls are leaving messages such as, "I miss you" and "Give me a call." It makes the girlfriend feel as if maybe she was being cheated on, or potentially going to be cheated on.

In the end, the couple broke up quite mutually over other reasons, but the websites did add tension.

I know a lot of online dating sites have it somewhere that you cannot be married, and could get into trouble of some sort if you are caught on the site and are actually married. Some do some type of screening for that sort of things. But there are many other ways people can meet each other without using those services.

I just think that to some extent, people abuse the internet a lot. I have seen countless people start discussions online about their boyfriends constantly posted personal ads up on websites. They have a fight over it, the guy eventually takes the personal ad down, and then goes to the next site. Or, he takes it down, and the next time they have a fight it gets reposted.

Yes, some may say that if a man does this he should be dumped and probably is a cheater. But I firmly believe that because of how easy it is to access the internet discretely and even as fast as in the time your partner is in the bathroom, it has created more problems for couples that they normally never would've had without it.
The Reason I Love

On the flip side, I have seen the internet be a helpful tool for couples. Some couples are able to make other couple friends online to share double dates with or even sexual encounters. Other couples can look to the internet on advice on some of their relationship problems and seek others for guidance. It's another great tool to use for contacting each other, whether it is for letting each other know when the next date is, or if you are experiencing a long distance relationship.

As far as it goes with me personally, I have been on both sides of this spectrum within the same relationship. The internet has both causes' petty fights and we realize that we fight more online than we do in person. Also I have been one of those girlfriends that have found personal profiles of my boyfriend online. Yes, I have checked. And that's a sign right there of trust issues. (Something that other articles can probably help with) At the same time I have also been that girlfriend with the same guy that had to go from being with my man every single day for the past 6 years, to having to live hundreds of miles away. The internet has been a great way for us to stay connected and close that distance gap.

So you either love the internet, or you hate it. I think the internet is great, but if not used responsibly it can really hurt relationships.