The Jersey Shore Portfolio: 6 GTL Stocks for Reality TV Stars

Thanks to Twitter, Facebook, and CNBC, celebrities can now use their celebrity status to tout stocks. We've got 50 Cent creating quite a stir, and a possible SEC investigation, by touting a penny stock on Twitter that he owns. The company, H&H Imports (HNHI.OB), shot up from 4 cents to 40 cents after the incident. I see Regis Philbin on CNBC's Fast Money every few weeks. Shia LeBeouf urged you to short gold last March before Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps came out.

Does anyone remember Dean Martin promoting Beagle Aircraft (former ticker symbol, BEAGLE) in 1967? Or Barbara Billingsley pushing Digitronics (now CHYR) after Leave it to Beaver started running in syndication? "You've got to check out these dot-matrix displays, people!" I don't think so.

Perhaps we should reach out to Jersey Shore's The Situation. I'd be interested in his perspective on some GTL (gym, tan, laundry) stocks. I admit to a guilty Jersey Shore pleasure, and would love to see what the nation's pre-eminent reality TV star has to say (with a grain of salt, of course). In fact, I've got six GTL stocks that should be right up your alley. A portfolio just of these six stocks returned 30% last year. It's too bad past performance doesn't predict future results. As always, do your own research here and don't mistake a joke as investment advice.

With tongue planted firmly in cheek, I present to you my Jersey Shore portfolio. I promise that each of these stocks is totally DTS. Let's take a look:

GTL Price Market Cap P/E 52 week range
Lifetime Fitness (LTM) Gym 41.84 1.8b 21 22.05-42.99
Nautilus (NLS) Gym 2.71 83m N/A 1.25-4.40
Estee Lauder (EL) Tan 83.81 16.4b 16 48.80-84.22
Energizer (ENR) Tan 72.23 5.1b 13 49.25-77.09
Mac-Gray Corp (TUC) Laundry 14.98 207m 48 8.59-16
Envirostar (EVI) Laundry 1.23 8.7m 14 0.97-1.43

As you can see by the 52 week ranges, GTL stocks are a volatile bunch. It's also no surprise that as the new season of Jersey Shore recently started, five of these stocks pushed up to 52 week highs. Combining the January Effect with the Guido Effect obviously means explosive growth to the upside.

When creeping on stocks to own, you can't go wrong with picks from The Situation, Pauly D, Snooki and the others. In this case, double-baggers are good things. So avoid grenades and landmines (and stalkers, in your case, Pauly), and invest wisely. Your fame won't last forever. After all, you're no Kardashians.