The Joy of Bird Watching

Back before I became a Christian, I liked to go to the woods behind my house and watch birds. I was sort of into nature, studied it. And could identify many species of plants and birds. I was told I was a pagan by my Democrat English teacher in eighth grade. And I've tried going to church. But I'm not really too religious. I mean I don't think we should be promiscuous drug addicts, and I love Christ, I love people, I love being spiritual, but I think there is too much emphasis on sin and not being perfect and too many wolves in sheep's clothing at church.

I found a spiritual teacher I listen to on CD and he doesn't really ascribe to any one religion, but he has given me a great amount of comfort. He used to be a professor, and at one time I thought I would be a professor and I liked the way he addressed many of my fears and worries growing up. And I've held many different jobs last year, but finally I found a job I love as an assistant teacher for toddlers at a nice daycare. I'm studying to become a lead teacher and I don't mind not having intellectual conversations with them because I am very emotional and I can help them feel better about living in this crazy world.

And I have tried doing many things, but sometimes something just sticks. I remember how miserable I was at school, and yet being really talented at getting the right answers and yet I would go home and watch cartoons. And I guess people didn't like me too much, but I don't really care, I had a few friends I cared about. And I'd much rather have a few good friends than a bunch of acquaintances any day. I've had lots of good friends as a Christian, but I've always enjoyed more one on one friendships than big parties. I think its just me. At one point I was quite popular that everyone wanted to be my friend at church and I got called J-lo a bit, but that's not who I am.

So last year, I found a park near by and I found bluebirds and goldfinches and purple finches and a loon and hawks and woodpeckers there. And this winter I saw wild swans fly to the lake. And while I may not be perfect, at least I enjoy my life without obsessing about boys and who's wearing a bra or not. Maybe I didn't get married yet and I'm kind of worried if I'll ever have children, but the fact that I'm sure I'll make a fine mother now that I've worked through some of my insecurities, makes me feel better. The one thing I've learned is that children need a mom and dad and lots of attention more than Lexus cars and Starbucks and designer clothes. My grandmother always said being a mom is the most important job you can have, and I agree. I may be a young conservative, but I do care. Not in a wacko, liberal do what you want, but do what's right kind of way.