THE JOYS of BEING a GRANDPARENT

I sat in our kitchen, watching my four grandchildren, their parents, my son and daughter-in-Law, along with my nephew, his son, and my wife and daughter. When did this all happen? How did we go from raising our own kids, to watching theirs running around? Wasn't it just a few weeks ago when our own kids got up on Easter morning, and had to find their Easter baskets? During this 1 minute break I was taking, I was in awe of them all.

There has been a lot written about raising children. Book after book, expert after expert, and every talk show ever created, talking about what to do, how to do it, and so on. As I sat there that morning, I chuckled to myself. My wife and I didn't pay too much attention to the experts. We raised our kids to be good adults. We hoped they would be caring of others, compassionate, responsible, and loving. As I watched the group in my living room, I knew we were successful. My thoughts were soon interrupted by the chaos, but it's a snapshot in my mind that I will never erase.

3 years ago, my son announced to my wife and I that he was marrying his girlfriend, who had two children already from a previous relationship. To say we were very concerned about that would be an understatement. My son had lived with us his entire life, and now he was going to have his own family. As much as I wanted to disagree with him taking on all of that responsibility all at once, I knew my words would fall on deaf ears. You see, I had married my wife after she had her two children from another relationship, and raised my kids as my own. They were even younger than the two my son would be marrying into, so what could I possibly say?

Getting back to the present, we now have 4 grandchildren, the two my daughter-in-law already had, and two more from my son and his wife. The other day, my wife, who has wanted grandchildren since my kids were grown, actually complained that we now have too many grandkids to shop for. We were Easter basket shopping. I, Mr. cheapskate in the past, was having the time of my life. While we still have limited finances, as we did when the kids were young, now it was different. "Throw it all in the shopping cart, it's for the grandkids!" I told her and my daughter. Man, how my attitude has changed.

The love I feel for the 4 grandkids is not explainable. I can't sit here and tell you all of the cool stories about how you can spoil them, and then send them home. It's not about that. It's more than that. Watching my son taking care of his children is remarkable. I see him doing some things that I did when he was little. Like horsing around, or playing in the snow. My son was telling me that I was a good Dad, because he was a lot like me with his own kids. But there is also a lot of differences between us. He is more loving, more attentive, and much more affectionate to his wife than I was. I don't remember having the time for any of that, so how can he find it? He has two more than me to raise, yet he seems to find the time for all of it.

I brush off those thoughts by telling myself it's because we did such a great job raising him. But that is a bunch of bull! What is it about parents? How come when their kids do something wrong, they say it's not because of anything they taught them or did. But, when they do something great, the parents take all of the credit. I'm not any kind of expert, but here is my thoughts. When your son or daughter, or step children, or anyone you have helped raise have children, watch them. Not just the grand children, your own kids. Want to know how you did as a parent or mentor, then there is your answer.

I always wondered how I would feel when the day arrived for grandchildren. My son isn't mine biologically, so how would I feel about his offspring? I knew my wife would be all set, she had the biological tie. But what about me? My son had already given us the first two when he married, so we had some practice. When his first biological child arrived, it was pure bliss. I couldn't have felt more connected to him, and his newborn son, in any world. Then his daughter arrived, not long ago, and my heart made more room for love. I now have 4 grandchildren, who call me grampy, except for the new one. She can't talk yet. Every single time they call me grampy, I melt. I am a grampy. I guess that means I'm getting old. I don't care.

If you are looking forward to your first grandchild, get ready. You are about to go on the best ride of your life. Forget about your little aches and pains, forget about your life's worries, forget about all of that. Look into the eyes of your grandchild, that's all I need to tell you, and that's all you need to know. Nothing expert about that!