The Joys of a Colonoscopy

I went to my doctor about a month ago about a pain in my rear end, literally. I knew that I had suffered from internal hemorrhoids a few years ago and suspected they were back. My doctor, I suppose in an attempt to save me some money and discomfort gave me a prescription for suppositories. They worked. At least for a couple of months. Soon my 'roids were back, inflamed as ever and they were bleeding even worse. Back to the doctor I go. He jams a scope up my rectum and says it doesn't look too bad but there is some blood and he can't tell exactly where it is coming from. He scheduled me for a colonoscopy.

If you ever have to have this procedure done, here's what to expect:

The doctor will prescribe what is known as a bowel prep kit. On the day before your appointment, you have to go on a strict liquid diet. Mine consisted of soup broths and popsicles. You can't have anything red colored as this might cause a false reading during the test. I started my liquid diet at 8:00 Am per my doctor's instructions. At 12 Noon I had to take four bisacodyl tablets. These tablets will eventually make you have a bowel movement. The directions said anywhere from 1 to 6 hours I should expect one. I had mine in 20 minutes. Now the fun really starts. The other part of the prep kit is a sodium chloride, sodium bicarbonate and potassium chloride mixture. This has to be mixed with water and a "flavor" packet and there is a bottle with a line on it telling you how much you have to drink. This mixture is completely disgusting and I can only compare it to trying to mix epsom salts with a kool aid packet. It leaves a very acidic taste in you mouth and you have to drink an 8 oz. glass of it every fifteen minutes. By the time you finish it you will feel very bloated.

This stuff is supposed to clean out you colon and believe me it does it's job. I went to the bathroom every 15 minutes or so for about four hours until my stool was watery and yellow. I started feeling hungry again (remember your on a liquid diet here) so I ate two popsicles. That turned out to be a mistake. Thediarrhea returned for about three more hours after that. It was not pleasant. My final bowel movement was at about 4 AM in the morning and it woke me out of a sound sleep.

The next day it is appointment time. This is actually the easier part. You get to strip naked from the waist down and you have to lie under the thinnest of paper blankets. I recall the room being very cold. You get stuck with an IV while a cuff goes on your other arm that keeps watch on your vital signs. Then you doctor comes in and administers the sedative which he shoots straight into the IV. In about 30 seconds you won't remember a thing except for waking up. The doctor can give you the results right then and there. If everything is good, you get to go home right away which was the case with me and I felt very lucky. It takes a little while to shake off the sedative and it makes you a little nauseous but thankfully I did not vomit. Instead I went home and fell asleep. After waking up, you can eat but I don't recommend anything large or too filling until your body regulates back to normal.

That's it! I was a nervous wreck to be honest but now having gone through it, I realize it is a very simple and painless procedure. My only other advice if you have to have this done is finding a doctor you trust and make sure he/she is certified to perform colonoscopies. There are minimal risks as with any type of procedure but you should be just fine!