The Key to Long Distance Relationships

Some people don't really understand Long Distance Relationships (LDR) and I doubt anyone, including those who are part of wonderful, joy filled LDR's would say that they are the best choice for a relationship. However they still arise, whether due to job conflicts, colleges in different parts of the country or long periods of absence due to one partner's career. Many Long distance Relationships fracture, or fail, and this leads people to assume they can't succeed. This is untrue, however hard they may be to maintain their are successful LDR's and here are five tips to making YOURS successful.

1. Complete and Utter Trust
Now of course trust is important in any and every relationship. It's the foundation of every single one, however
in a relationship when you are hundreds or possibly thousands of miles away from your partner trust becomes proportionately more important.

You must do nothing to violate your partner's trust, they are still your partner no matter what the distance after all. Extending beyond this you must not doubt your partner either, yes they are far away but they LOVE you and you have to trust in that.

Trust is the first and the last step. Don't doubt your partner's word, when they tell you something believe it. It's easy to become suspicious and possessive in relationships like these, after all they are so far away they could be up to anything. We want to protect what we love and many people are convinced that they'll find someone better or closer and more convenient for them.

It's okay to have these kind of fears and even to be possessive (though the level of this is dependent upon your individual relationship with your partner.) This just leads me to the next tip.

2. Honesty and Full Disclosure
Honesty. Never lie or conceal. Also utterly important in any other relationship, in a LDR it becomes the bedrock upon which Trust is built. Tell your partner everything, don't leave things out. Especially who you hang out with and what they do.

Talk about things that are bothering you. Do not conceal anything, it's a relationship you can't just ignore problems. Past that...you are far away, it's harder for your partner to see things wrong with you if you don't know tell them. Don't expect a person to "just know" because they know you so well. There is distance, and so it's going to be more difficult.

3. Love, Loyalty and SHOWING it
A given, and the one that needs the most work and least explanation. Love your partner, be loyal to them. Tell them how you feel, a big connection to honesty after all. What mostly needs to be said is you have to show it. Tell your love that you love them everyday, more than just once a day.

You also need to show them, from ordering flowers, to sending them an old fashioned letter to buying them something you love or writing a poem for them. Give your partner those little everyday reminders that you are in love with them.

4. Finding Ways to Connect
Don't just talk. Do things together. Talk about what you are doing everyday, argue and chat over whatever topics you are both interested in, work on projects together or play games together. Anything from both of you playing WoW to both of you writing a story together, to commenting and aiding in each other's work. Connect...you have a distance between you and you must fill up the gap of it with your love and time and effort.

5. Spend Time With Each Other, Accept it and Want to
I'm not saying to spend every waking moment on the phone, or on webcam, or on the computer instant messaging though I'm not speaking against it either. To the extent that you can spend as much or even more time on the phone with your love, or on webcam with them

One of the problems that most LDR's experience is one partner doesn't actively pursue enough time with the other. This causes a basis of suspicion when the person starts being evasive or upset due to it. You have to want to spend time with each other, it's okay to have separate lives however in an LDR you have one separation that is more than most couples ever have to deal with.

Don't begrudge your partner being overclingy, if you feel they are inform them and talk it out with them but understand their reasoning. They love you, they miss you. Accept it and also if you are the partner inclined to cling, try not to suffocate your love.