The Kids Are Gone: Moving to a Smaller Home

If they haven't already gone, your college freshman will be heading off to school soon and other kids are moving out into the world on their own. Whether it is the first of your children to leave home, or the last, feelings of empty nest syndrome hit hard and fast. Many changes happen in your family so quickly, but when the dust settles and you find yourself home without the kids you join the ranks of "empty nesters." In addition to the emotional milieu of being an empty nester you also have to deal with the question of whether to keep your larger, family sized home or move to a smaller home. The kids are gone, there are pros and cons to staying where you now live, and there are pros and cons of moving to a smaller home. Carefully consider the pros and cons of being an empty nest parent in your current home, before allowing environmental and emotional changes to push you toward a hasty decision about moving to a smaller home.

The Nest is empty; is the home too large?

The first and most obvious question new empty nesters must ask themselves is if they feel their current home is too large. It is not a given that you and your family have lived in a home that is so large that it necessitates your moving when the kids leave home.

Evaluate the size of the home based on your needs and intentions. Can you use a now empty bedroom for an office or sewing room? Is it just the right size for a home gym or craft room?

Too much unused space is a good indication that you may need to move to a smaller home. However, an extra room or closet, cleared out by a son or daughter who has left home may make your home just right for the lifestyle you now wish to live.

The Kids moved out; do you think it's for good?

Kid's come and kids go, literally. Gone are the days when the kids went to college or moved out to get married and that was the official time to cut ties with home. It seems like apron strings stretch longer and longer. Sociologists have noted that the average child is dependent on their parent, to some degree, to age 32.

This begs the question, if the kids have left home are they gone for good? You may want to consider the direction their lives seem to be heading, your willingness to help them or allow them to return home, and the likelihood of their ending up back in your home before you make the decision to move to a smaller home.

Smaller quarters get cramped very quickly when a son or daughter returns home and brings a spouse, mate, or child in tow.

The Nest is empty, the kids are gone, how long until they return to visit with families of their own?

When the kids are gone a house that once seemed overrun with people can become desperately lonely. It may feel good to create a home in a smaller place so that you restore a feeling of coziness and control to your life. These are good reasons to find a smaller home when the kids leave.

Consider, however, what direction your kids have taken. Did they move out to go to college, or to have a family? Realistically, how long will it be before your house could once again be overrun with little ones? Sometimes empty nesters downsize, only to regret it when it comes time for a family reunion or special holiday.

If you are determined to find a smaller home, then ask another family member to take over hosting family get -togethers. If you cannot let go of your home being the hub of family activity, then you should consider hanging on to the larger, family home.

Empty Nest syndrome, does moving to a smaller home make parents feel better or worse?

The bottom line in making a decision about down-sizing to a smaller home when the kids move out has to do with the happiness of you and your spouse, or you if you are a single parent. Remember that your home holds precious memories; however, life in a new, smaller home may offer you more opportunities.

Lower house payments may free income for you to travel, or buy things you have put off while you poured all of your money into raising kids. Small homes, in small communities, made up of mostly empty nesters and retired persons often offer a new sense of community, new friends, and a new purpose once the kids are gone.

How well do you like your current home and community? If you can maintain a larger home, even though you may not need the space, and you enjoy where you are living don't let pressure from others to down-size influence your decision.

You are the one who has to be happy with your decision.

Moving to a smaller home when the kids leave home is a decision best not made right away. Give yourself time. Get a feel for life without kids. See how it feels to live in your house without the kids. Then make your decision to stay where you are, or downsize to a smaller home.