"The Kingdom" Gets a Two Snoozer

We judge movies at our house by how quickly Mike falls asleep. If the movie is even slightly tolerable I will watch but do the dishes or check my mail while watching. On rare occasion I too have an attack of the dozes. Recently we viewed "The Kingdom" starring Jamie Fox, Chris Cooper, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, Jeremy Piven, and two gentlemen that I had never heard of before but enjoyed their acting, Ashraf Barhom and Ali Suliman.

I like Jamie Fox and Jeremy Piven so the pick seemed logical. I have followed Jeremy Piven's career from his early days on "Seinfeld" and "Ellen" all the way to "Scary Movie" and "Entourage" and enjoyed watching the growth of the actor. Jamie Fox has never disappointed me with his acting skills and I try to get any of his films I can find.

We sat down to enjoy our night of entertainment when the first subtitle came on the screen. One day I will get bifocals but until then, Mike has to read them for me. The titles moved fast and were extremely small, so we only got about half of the words that were presented. To make matters worse, the speech in English was low and below the level of the music and background noise. Was our age showing on this? We both confirmed that neither of us could hear the dialogue that well and before I could say "Mike, tell me what that says" he was out like a light.

I began to watch alone, not unusual since the snooze meter of 1 is about an average rating in our house. I ran to the kitchen to get coffee and leafed through a magazine as I watched the plot slowly unfold. And then there was nothing. When I awoke I stopped the film and decided that we would give it a second shot in the morning.

Day two: Again we began the film. This time Mike could fill in most of the captions since we had already read many of them. Again his dramatic readings of the subtitles ceased within twenty minutes and he was sound asleep. This is definitely not his movie. I felt my eyes getting heavy as I persevered through the film as though it were a slow talking economics professor. Finally the real action began and I had made it through the first hour and woke Mike so we wouldn't have to try a third time.

I managed to give the synopsis in two sentences. The team goes to Saudi Arabia to kill terrorists against the higher ups orders. They have to find a bomber before he hits again.

The action in the last thirty minutes was good and held my attention, but wasn't enough for me to recommend the film. It is definitely a two snoozer. Even with the additional attempt, had I not continuously ran to the kitchen, I would have slept through the second viewing also.

It has the typical Hollywood theme of America is bad and the cause of all wars. That tires me already. I want to watch a movie for entertainment and not someone's political agenda. Although in this case, I got the feeling that the author thought, "Yeah, this will bring some controversy. It should sell really well." It was contrived and commercial. The only thing that it didn't have was gratuitous sex. I might have enjoyed it more had they managed to find a way to add that. At least it would have kept Mike awake to read the subtitles.

Save your money unless you are a masochist or insomniac. I would not recommend the movie regardless of the nomination for a SAG award. The stunt team received the honor, and it is well deserved, but you could cut out the 15 minutes of dazzle and show that and it would be just as entertaining as watching the entire film.