The L Word - Least Likely

Nikki's at the Chateau Marmont with a group of friends. She rants about how Jenny made love to her all night only to kick her out the next morning. How Jenny never meant to rekindle the romance between them by calling their relationship a showmance. Not really knowing what that means, one of her friends tries to define it for her but someone stops her from finishing. Nikki continues her rant like a spoiled brat and another friend comments on how Jenny said Nikki didn't break her heart. This takes Nikki over the edge she takes her friend out of her top 5 on her cell; turns out this girl is her best friend. At this point Nikki throws everybody out in a fit of rage. She vows to get even with Jenny saying she's dead meat.

Hit Club owners Helena and Kit are talking with drag DJ Sunset Boulevard about redesigning the club. It's going to have a Moroccan feel to it; something out of their favorite movie Casablanca. Sunset is more than happy to spin the hits for them, especially since she's a Kit Porter fan. She calls Kit her ultimate R&B Goddess; Kit's impressed by the feel of her biceps.

The girls are at The Planet and things are still tense between Shane and Jenny. Shane's at a table with Kit while Jenny's sitting with Alice and Tasha. Both Alice and Jenny are typing away on their laptops; Alice's typing is annoying Jenny. A waitress comes over to serve breakfast and gives Jenny a plate of waffles; only Jenny didn't order any waffles. The waitress tells her that Shane sent them over; Kit says Shane made them especially for Jenny. Bette and Tina enter and give Helena props for adding valet service to The Planet. They see Jenny with a plate of waffles and Tina's pretty psyched about the breakfast and plans on ordering them. That is until Jenny tosses them in the trash. Kit tells Jenny that there are people starving in the world; she snapped back saying she doesn't think they want waffles. Bette and Tina play rock-paper-scissors to determine who sits with whom; Tina's the winner. Bette goes to sit with Kit and Shane; Tina sits at Jenny's table.

Jenny's writing a new treatment, Tasha's studying for the police academy and Alice it seems is also writing a treatment. The latter catches Jenny's attention and inquires about it. Alice seems pretty excited about it but feels a little skeptical towards Tina's suggestion of having Jenny read it. Acting like a screenwriter vet, Jenny offers to give Alice some notes. Bette swaps text messages with Tina to talk about what's going on at Jenny's table. Tina asks about Tasha and Alice going to therapy. This upsets Tasha because this again shows that Alice can't keep her mouth shut; she's very big on privacy. She leaves for the academy upset and is non-responsive to Alice's reminder of their appointment and Helena compliments her suit. Jenny invites Helena to sit at her table. Helena's not choosing sides and says she loves them both; she goes for her morning run. Alice is sick of this rift and says Jenny needs to work things out with Shane because the place is starting to look like the black hole of Calcutta.

There's silver lining in this dark cloud of drama and it's from Bette and Tina. They've registered with three different agencies and the chances of them adopting a baby within six months are good. This is great news for everyone and Bette mentions that they will also start construction to add a second level to make room for the baby. Jenny's not pleased about that part because the noise will disturb her concentration to write. She feels its going to be impossible with all the noise and announces she needs to find a new roommate. Making another attempt to get through to her, Shane says Jenny doesn't need a new roommate. Jenny hasn't spoken to her in a week and Shane feels they can work this out. Jenny doesn't think Shane making her waffles is not the way to start. Jenny says Shane leaves a trail of destruction and doesn't take responsibility for it. Shane says she's paying for the damage she's caused; Jenny thinks she's full of shit.

That afternoon Max and Tom are on their way out and they see Shane with a bunch of flower beds Jenny wanted planted. Max asks how much more will Shane do for Jenny; she doesn't know yet. Jenny's having a problem with her laptop but Max can't look at to right now because he has an appointment for the final consult for his F to M (female to male) surgery. Jenny's still giving Shane the silent treatment.

At Shaolin Studios, Tina and Aaron are having a meeting with a couple of marketing execs. They are unveiling the promotional poster for Lez Girls but there a few changes. The poster shows Jesse and Jim in an embrace as the base of the picture with the rest of the cast in a line of pics across the bottom. The big change is in the title; it's not Lez Girls - it's The Girls. Aaron being a sheep is over the moon with it; Tina's not so pleased. Aaron plays coy about not bringing her up to speed about the marketing research. Tina refuses to let this happen. She is not going to let them turn Lez Girls into a boy meets girl love story. One of the execs says that the audiences want the love of such a story; the test audiences gave the new ending a positive feedback. Tina asks when did they have s screening; Aaron tells her to get on board - this movie isn't going with the lesbian angle.

There's a staff meeting at CU and everyone's impressed with Jodi's piece that put Bette on front street last season. Jodi takes in the compliments acting pretty cocky; marveling at the rave reviews of her art show that embarrassed her former lover. Bette enters in a little lat and apologizes. She tries to fill Phyllis in on her news about the adoption but Jodi takes back control of the meeting. Bette sees the article about the show in CU's Art Journal and isn't happy about it.

Max is at his doctor's office to discuss the final steps of his surgery. He feels ready to be able to take his shirt off at the beach; that's his goal. His doctor tells him that something's come up; it appears that Max is pregnant. Of course this piece of information takes Max by surprise because he's been taking testosterone. That may be but his doctor says that doesn't shut down the reproductive system. This means that Max's surgery has to be postponed. Max is advised to see how far along the pregnancy is and decide what he wants to do about it.

The staff meeting is still going on at CU and Tom gets a text from Max to call him; he excuses himself. A colleague asks Jodi how Bette responded to her work; she's not able to read his lips and looks for Tom. Bette gets her attention and signs for her; Jodi doesn't know how Bette responded. She turns to ask Bette and is requested to be seen in the dean's office. Jodi has plans and suggests James email her to make an appointment. Bette throws the magazine at her and asks to speak to Phyllis; she takes Bette to her office.

When they make to her office, Phyllis opens the door and they find a naked Joyce Wischnia. Bette's mouth is on the floor and Phyllis caught off guard; Bette says they'll reschedule. Phyllis tells her the school has rules and one of them doesn't condone a naked woman in her office; Joyce made sure Phyllis's schedule was clear. She's acting with her heart; she's a woman in love. Still very naked, Joyce proposes to Phyllis is a little hesitant but Joyce presents a lavish ring; she quickly puts it on. She loves it but tells Joyce that she never wanted to marry again. Joyce sweetens the proposal by telling her they'll get married on the steps of San Francisco's City Hall and the city's mayor, Gavin Newsom, will officiate the ceremony. Phyllis accepts and they are as giddy as a couple of schoolgirls.

Tasha and Alice are talking to couples therapist Dan Foxworthy about their relationship. Alice is doing more of the talking; even answering questions directed to Tasha. Alice tells him their in his office because she told Tasha about what almost happened and that she should get credit for not giving in to the moment. He asks if she thought about it, Tasha give an 'I told you so' look. Alice again tried to ask for some credit for not doing anything. Alice keeps rambling and Dr. Foxworthy reminds Alice that it's called couples therapy for a reason. Tasha feels Alice told her because she wanted to break up and bringing Clea in the middle was the easiest way to do that. Alice knew how Tasha would feel about it and end the relationship. When Tasha broke it off, Alice got scared; that's why their in his office.

Max is at the doctor's office for an appointment; it's apparent that he chose to not keep the baby. The receptionist thinks he's joking and threatens to call security. Max tells her that he's an F to M transsexual and hears the other patients whispering; he snaps at the group and turns to the receptionist and asks to be seen.

Jenny's home working on her treatment and Shane's washing the car. Shane has the car radio going and it's distracting her creativity. She goes to the window to let Shane know she's trying to write; Shane turns the radio off. Jenny asks for the keys to her car and Shane hands them to her; she gets back to her writing.

Alice and Tasha are still in Dr. Foxworthy's office making vows to each other; taking steps to make the relationship work. They ask if they're going to be given any exercises or homework to help in making things better for them; he's not going to. He tells them they don't need therapy and they're glad to hear that. He feels they have little in common and don't belong together. They leave the session upset saying that Dan Foxworthy knows nothing about their relationship. That he has no idea of what they do or don't have in common. They have a little fun in Alice's car to release the tension from their session.

Tom meets up with Max at the doctor's office; he got there as soon as he could. Max tells him the doctor would do it because the baby is too far along - four months. Like Max, Tom didn't think pregnancy was possible with the testosterone medication. Max's doctor didn't count on him having vaginal sex with Tom; he tells Max not to blame him for it. Max tells Tom that he's the only man he's been with and Tom pulls a classic man card asking how is he supposed to know. In a fit Max pushed Tom against the wall and stresses it was indeed Tom. Tom pushes Max off and just as he's ready to fire back, Max kicks him in the balls. Max slides to the floor and Tom collects himself and sits across the way on the hallway floor. He apologizes to Max and says he's not ready to be a father.

Bette and Tina are at an art show given by Kelly Wentworth. Make small talk with a few art lovers and Bette asks John if he knows who Kelly Wentworth is. She's a rich divorcee who walked away with $80 million of Deke Wentworth's money and woman walks up to say she decided to spend it on making a presence for herself in the art world. The lady corrects John by saying it was $89 million; she introduces herself as one Kelly Wentworth to Bette. Bette compliments her collection and asks if she's been in L.A long; Kelly's surprised Bette doesn't recognize her. Bette takes a good look at her and realizes that she's the old college roommate Kelly Fremont. After a few moments of talking Bette finally introduces her to Tina; she sees the chemistry but keep it cool. While Bette's in a daze over Kelly, Tina compliments one of the art pieces. Bette tells Kelly they're gonna look around at the other art pieces in the gallery and Kelly tells her not to leave without saying goodbye; Tina says they won't. As they walk away, Bette's still in her daze and Kelly's looking at Bette as a second chance for a one on one opportunity.

Tasha and Alice take matters in their own hands regarding their relationship; they develop a list of pros and cons. After some time they find the list to be longer than they anticipated as well as there being more cons than pros. This doesn't look too good for the two until Tasha has the bright idea of using a point system; this way the pros fair better than the cons.

Bette and Tina catch up with Kelly who flirts with an artist. Bette tells her he's a terrible artist. Bette tells her he's a terrible artist; that's what Kelly's looking for in him. She notices that they are heading out and says they need to lunch or dinner; she wants to pick at Bette's brain. Bette's first piece of advice is to not sign artists she wants to sleep with. Kelly asks if Bette's speaking from personal experience and looks past them; they turn around to see Jodi talking to a few art lovers. Bette excuses herself and tells Jodi they need to talk; Jodi excuses herself from the group and her date.

Bette tells Jodi that James has bee trying to schedule an appointment and she has yet to get back to him about it. Jodi; says she's been busy. Bette reminds her that she still is to report to her and Bette asks to see Jodi, she's supposed to make it happen. Jodi says she doesn't report to her or anybody; Bette gives her till the next day to make the appointment. On the flip side Kelly's telling Tina how Bette was in college; Bette goes over to them and let's Kelly know they're gonna go.

Hit Club is on jam as Alice compliments Helena and Kit on their partnership; also the vow they took of no alcohol or sex. Kit sees that as a good way to keep your sanity and shirt on in this business. Helena admits to having the occasional drink and has sex every now and then; just not with people she knows. Her new M.O. is all business and no attachments. Alice turns to view the crowd and spots Dylan Moreland. You may remember her from season 4, she and her asshole boyfriend tried to extort money from Helena. Kit asks if she came out the closet and Tasha finds it hard to believe that she used to be straight. Alice says Dylan wasn't straight when she was sleeping with Helena. Kit tries to quiet Alice but she can't help it. She's surprised that Helena's not freaking out; Helena feels there's no need to.

Max is playing a video game when Tom comes over. He's been trying to reach Max all day. He tells tom his phone broke; Tom finds it in pieces on the floor. Tom apologizes for the way he acted earlier, Max caught him off guard by the news. Tom asks Max how he would feel about keeping the baby; be a couple of West Hollywood gay dads. Max doesn't believe his change of heart and doesn't think they can handle it. Tom feels they can handle it. He points out that they both make a decent living; they love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. Max has to think about it and apologizes for kicking him in the balls and Tom apologizes for knocking him up.

Bette and Tina are home and talking about Kelly. Tina finds her irritating; going on about her girlfriend's body doesn't make a good first impression. Tina tells Bette that while she was talking to Jodi, Kelly called her a player; whenever she had a girlfriends Bette has a backup or two. Bette says Kelly was too busy fucking all the male professors on campus to know what she was doing. Kelly also told Tina that she's sorry she didn't hook up with Bette 20 years ago. Bette asked Tina if she told Kelly they were exclusive; Tina didn't. She feels she shouldn't be the one to tell Kelly that Bette's not available for a redo. Bette says she's not but Tina says they were flirting; Bette says she wasn't flirting with Kelly. Tina says Bette can't help to flirt; she feeds off of people wanting her. She says she loves Bette but she doesn't want to deprive her of something that is fundamentally a part of who she is. Bette asks Tina to trust that she knows who she is and what to do; she lets Tina know all she wants is her.

Back at Hit Club, Alice is fuming about Dylan being there enjoying herself on the dance floor with a couple of lady friends. She decides to give Dylan a piece of her mind and ask Tasha to have her back. As they make their way to the dance floor, Tasha asks what Dylan did to Helena. Alice will fill her in after she takes care of Dylan. She shoves Dylan; she speaks to Alice looking surprised. Alice is so pissed off she can't get her words straight cussing Dylan out; Helena comes over to speak to Dylan. Alice is till trying to cut into Dylan but Helena calls her off and Tasha pulls her away. Dylan tells Helena she looks amazing and asks to talk.

On their way back to the table, Alice fills Tasha in about how Dylan used Helena by acting like she was in love with her; that she and her boyfriend accused Helena of sexual harassment and tried to extort money from her in the process. Helena and Dylan go over to the bar to talk. Helena asks Dylan if she knew Hit Club was hers; Dylan didn't know. She just got back into town and was told it was the best girl club In West Hollywood. Helena finds it funny that Dylan was looking for a lesbian club. Dylan gives her credit for helping her in figuring out who she really was. She attempts to apologize for what happened 2 years ago and doesn't expect Helena to care about her life right now. She certainly doesn't expect Helena to care that she couldn't stop thinking about her; wishing they met at a different time. Helena's really keeping calm letting Dylan blab. Feeling guilty, Dylan says she can go if Helena wants her to. She says there's no need and tells Dylan she only came over because it would be awkward for her to not say anything; especially since it's her club. She tells Dylan to stay and enjoy herself with her friends.

When Helena gets back to the table, Alice is still talking about the trail of disaster Dylan left behind. Tasha asks if Helena wants her to beat Dylan's ass; Helena says no. Tasha says Helena's a better woman because she would beat a bitch down if she tried that on her. Helena sees Dylan leaving and heads out the club. She catches up with Dylan and shoves her on the truck. Helena lets her have it by saying what she's obviously been waiting to say when it came to Dylan taking part in destroying her life. Dylan takes it in and thanks Helena for it; now she knows Helena cares. Helena walks away still heated.

The next morning Shane tries to enter the house; Jenny didn't change the locks but did chain the door. Shane knocks on the door telling Jenny needs her stuff; Jenny lets her in. Shane packs her things from her room and gets some things from the bathroom. Jenny asks Shane of that's it; if she's done trying. Shane says she's out and doesn't see the point with Jenny anymore. Jenny tells Shane it was she that broke jenny's heart; when she said that it felt like her heart was breaking. Shane walks out into the hallway; she tried to tell Jenny all week how sorry she was. She vows to never hurt Jenny like that again. Jenny says she also realized she's fallen in love with Shane; now she's like all those stupid girls. Shane's at lost for words and Jenny goes into her room. Shane walks down the hall and calls for Jenny. She walks out the room, they give each other a hard hug and Shane comes in for a kiss; Jenny kisses her back.

Next on the L word

- The Lez Girl negative is stolen from Shaolin Studios.

- Jodi makes things complicated for Bette at work.

- The girls find out about Jenny and Shane's new relationship.