The Legend of Kramer, the Wonder Dog

Out of all the dogs I've ever known, the late, great, Kramer was the most special. He was exceptionally athletic, able to leap four foot chain link fences with ease, could run like the wind and yet was as gentle as a lamb in spite of being as strong as an ox.

Once I built a 6 ft. privacy fence around the backyard, Kramer, as intelligent as he was independent, quickly learned to stand on hindlegs and lift the latch with his long white paws and open the gate if it was unlocked.

Kramer brought to mind the adage about Will Rogers never having met a man he didn't like. So it was with Kramer with only two exceptions. Of course, he never met Michael Vick...

Kramer got his name from the Seinfeld character Cosmo Kramer. It seems that in 1996 when the "show about nothing" was in it's primetime run as the #1 show on TV. On the night I got him, I took the then 10 lb. ball of fur to my Mom's house to show her my new companion.

She asked what I was going to name him and at that exact moment, the four-legged Kramer and the two-legged one were both sliding. Cosmo Kramer slid into Jerry's apartment, as he so often did, the puppy slid on Mom's linoleum kitchen floor. How about Kramer?

Now to the funny dog stories for National Dog Day. As a pup, before he was neutered, Kramer had quite the sexual appetite. No shin was safe since there was no female dog in the household yet.

One summer night as I was getting ready to leave, a man in dress shirt and tie was canvassing the neighborhood. Trying my best to avoid what I thought was probably an insurance salesman or some other nuisance, the man nonetheless caught me before I could get in the car.

At the time, all I had keeping K-Man in the back yard was a four foot chainlink fence, which I thought would contain my four-legged friend. Wrong! When Kramer heard his servant (as a Siberian Husky-Malamute mix, no one was his master) talking to someone, he vaulted right over the barrier like it was nothing.

It had rained earlier in the day, one of those mid-America summer heat showers and soon Kramer had the man's shin locked in his embrace, humping in the neighborhood of 90-120 rpms.

It was hard to keep from laughing at the sight, yet embarrassing at the same time. If the man hadn't been a politician, I might have been a little more vigilant in helping to protect his virtue. His formerly perfectly creased khaki pants would never be the same and now had mud on them from Kramer's paws. It all happened so fast, neither of us could have prevented the incident entirely.

"You gotta vote for me now, the dog likes me" the man intoned, or something to that effect. I was tempted to offer the man a cigarette, but I don't smoke.

Several years later, my wife and I joined a different church and lo and behold, the man, by then a Chancery Judge, was an usher at the new church. I couldn't help but wonder if he remembered his encounter with Kramer and luckily I never had to deal with him in his court...

2-3 years later, I signed up for a drawing at the Arkansas-Oklahoma State Fair for a free sunroom. Of course, the company was just trying to drum up business by calling the non-winners, of which I was one. A non-winner, I mean.

A man came by on a chilly November day, I remember because it was the day the news broke that football great Walter Payton had died and football season was in high gear. I accompanied the salesman outside to take some measurements.

With Kramer's canine companion Jewel, so named for her tendency to howl when a song by the singer Jewel came on the radio, being mostly German Shepherd, I held my other four-legged friend back, JuJu being quite protective of her "Daddy". I never considered that I had anything to worry about from the ever-gregarious Kramer.

Like the other incident, before I could react, Kramer sidled up to the man, hiked his leg and "marked his territory" all over the man's corduroy pants. Talk about being at a loss for words! I got a towel for the man and apologized profusely.

Turned out the man had a cat which had brushed against his leg earlier. "The guys at the office will get a kick out of this" he said. He must have been quite the pet lover, 'cause Kramer could have been the one getting the kick.

After I saw the amount of the estimate, I was tempted to give Kramer a doggie treat and say "good boy". Just kidding. Still, it was impossible to stay mad at Kramer very long.

I taught Jewel to retrieve a frisbee, which she would do faithfully only to refuse to give it back. She got pretty good at catching the disc as I threw it across the yard. Kramer was much too independent to do so, but would play defense, trying to keep Jewel from catching it.

It reminded me of the jockeying between NFL receivers and defensive backs as Kramer would "bump and run" with Jewel across their playing field, the two running stride for stride. Jewel is still around and in good shape for a 14 year old dog.

Even though she and Kramer had their dustups at times, I think she still misses her late playmate, but Jewel is tough and resilient and has a couple of younger members of the pack now.

Lucy, a Jack Russell terrier and Roxy, the pillow-humping labradachund keep Jewel young with their antics. Even though the younger two have issues with one another, both defer to their den mother.

Roxy, also known as The Roxynator for her destructive ways, can often be found having her way, yes her way with any available pillow, even after being spayed a good while back.

Roxy was the most upset when Kramer passed on sundown on Easter Sunday, 2008. She had a huge crush on him and unfortunately was the one who first knew something was wrong. She was trying to play with him as she often did and started barking constantly when her favorite playmate didn't rouse.

My wife told me something must be wrong and as soon as I saw the K Man lying in one of his favorite spots, not getting up as Roxy tugged at his furry coat, I knew the day I had dreaded had arrived. I got to him and I could have sworn he opened his almond colored eyes and looked at me one last time, taking one final breath before passing.

At the time, I didn't think I would want another dog anytime soon. The Linkin Park song Shadow of the day always makes me think of Kramer. That Easter Sunday my world was embraced in gray as the sun set on Kramer's life, but as old age had started to set in he simply didn't have quite the zest for living as he had in the past. The one good thing was he didn't have to suffer as I feared he would after a seizure a few days before.

I still miss him, but with a wife and son and two other dogs in our household, we had to forge ahead the best we could.

Lucy came into our lives a few months after Kramer's passing, so the Gowens household was back to three dogs. She would have loved Kramer, who would make 5 of her easily. It would have been fun watching those two interact, but it was not to be.

I had Kramer for 12 years, minus a few days, I guess God needed a good sled dog.