The Life of a Single Mom

I was born in Pennsylvania in November of 1982 to my wonderful parents. At the time of my birth, my parents were living with my grandparents in their basement that was fixed up as an apartment. I spent a year and a half there with my parents when they wound up pregnant again. That's when my brother was born in July of 1984. About a year later, my parents started having problems due to my father cheating on her. He did everything he could to turn us against her, and it worked for a little while as well.

A month or so later, we lived with our mom at our other grandparents house. At that time, my dad had moved his new girlfriend/fiance into his basement apartment. During this time they were fighting for custody of my brother and I. Of course, my mother won. Come 1986 I believe it was, was when I started school. I went to school in Pennsylvania up until the 2nd grade.

At that time, my mom took us with her to Florida where we stayed at our aunt's house with her and her family. This was a terrible idea, but at the time it was our only choice. My mom worked at a gas station for a while there. Our cousins were terrible to us. They were always trying to get us to do stuff we didn't want to, do their chores, and anything else that they knew would get us into trouble. After so long, everyone started catching on to what was going on, and that's when my mom wanted to start looking for a place, but then I came down with the chicken pox...lol.

That Christmas when it came time to write our letters to Santa, I put down that I wanted a new home for my family so that we could get away from my aunt's family, a new car, and a couple of presents. I didn't think it would happen, but it was worth a shot. A week before Christmas we got a letter in the mail addressed to us from the North Pole. We were surprised. My mom opened it and pulled out the letter. It read:

Dear Crystal and Brian,
I received your letter, and was very impressed with how much you care about your family. Most children aren't so compassionate about stuff like that, and I am willing to try and make all of your Christmas wishes come true. Take a look inside the envelope and you will find a special red velvet bag. Inside this bag is the answer to all your Christmas wishes. Have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
Love, Santa

You're probably thinking yeah right, but this is true. So, my mom opened the envelope and pulled out the red velvet bag. She opened it, and inside was a letter and two keys. In the letter it gave directions and an address. It said, this will lead you to your gifts. My mom got us in the car, and we went ahead and followed the directions to the address. When we got there it was a house with a for sale sign in the yard that said SOLD on it, and there was a car in the driveway.

We didn't know whether or not we should go up to the door, but since it was the right place we did. We knocked on the door, but there was no answer. My mom pulled out the keys and tried one, the door opened. We went inside and looked around. When we got to the kitchen, there was a cane leaned up against the fridge, and a gallon of milk half drank, and a plate of cookies half eaten. We looked at the table and there was a letter. This one said:

Hello,
it's me again. If you're reading this that means that you followed the directions and made it to your new home. Congratulations. Also, you're probably wondering what the extra keys are for....well, did you see the car in the driveway? That's yours as well. I will pick up my cane later, and sorry about the minor mess.
Santa.

We were surprised. We finished looking around, and in each bedroom was a mini Christmas tree and a couple of gifts under them. Our Christmas wishes had come true. How? We don't know, but we got the letters from Santa. I guess that's one of those things that you have to decide whether or not you believe in it.

Two years later, my mom met a nice guy who lived in Alabama. We wound up moving there so that they could spend more time together. We got an apartment within the same complex as his. It was nice. We started school there, and made a ton of new friends. During this time, some things got a little difficult. My mom's friend/my godmother had come to stay with us for a bit. She almost let me drown in the pool one time. This is about the time I started having my nightmares and did some stupid stuff. I was only 7 or 8 at the time.

I use to wake up to a giant eyeball in the closet with legs. I don't know why, but I did. Then there were nights I'd wake up to find the whole place on fire, but can't find my mom or brother. I was all alone. I would try climbing out the window and down the side of the building from the 2nd floor. None of this really happened, it was all a bad nightmare, but at one point I was freaking out to the point that my mom came in to check on me, and I was hanging tied together socks out the window and trying to tie it to something strong.

After a year or two, the guy she was seeing was being deported so they split for a while. We moved to a house across town, and transferred schools. This is when I made some of the best friends ever. It was third grade and I joined chorus. I met a girl named Kim. She became my best friend as of day one. The funny thing is that her mom and mine had met a couple days before at the church we visited, and they started talking and getting together.

Kim had two sisters and a brother, and her parents were still married. They were great people and very friendly. We all hung out a lot. We spent birthdays together, took baths together, went to church, school events, etc. We were inseparable basically. When we moved on to the sixth grade, we decided to move to a different city. We wanted to be somewhere a little safer, so that's what we did.

Once again, we transferred schools again, but this school was nice and didn't have a huge amount of kids really. I joined the basketball team, but that didn't last long due to my minor heart problems. After about six months here, my mom met someone. I wasn't too fond of him from the beginning, but of course I also knew that if things went any farther between them that we'd end up moving again. I didn't want that this time. He had four kids of his own.

Well, sure enough, things did progress with them. We moved once again. They ended up getting married at one point, but it only lasted a year. Everyone made fun of us and called us the Brady Bunch. There were three girls and three boys. We were just missing the maid. Finally, my mom caught wind from him that he cheated on her and got some sixteen year old girl pregnant, so he went to her. We moved once again, but this time my mom gave up on guys. The only guy involved in her life now besides my brother was her best friend. He was an officer at the police dept. He was a great guy.

Okay, so now that we moved again, let's jump into the high school years. These were some crazy times. Being that we lived in a small town, there wasn't really anything to do. The only thing we had was a movie theater. Other than that, we hung out in parking lots just socializing and stirring up trouble. During this time, I went through a lot of issues. I was being left out of the family, my brother became a momma's boy so to speak, and I wanted out.

So, my first mistake was turning to drugs. That didn't last long though, they just weren't for me. I considered alcohol next, but didn't like the smell or taste, so I passed that one up. My biggest stress relief were my cigarettes and dip. All of my friends were guys, since I couldn't get along with the girls, I was always beating them up because they were snobs or just constantly talking about people. I wouldn't hang out with people my own age either. Everyone was always older than me.

My junior year of high school, I joined a bowling league with my mom and brother. We did alright, and it was a way for us to try and act like a family. That's when I met my first boyfriend. He was the DJ at the lanes, and was 28 years old. He was a great guy, and my mom and brother loved him too. It didn't last long though, we ended breaking up since I wouldn't move in with him. Oh well, maybe if I had been a little older. So, my next boyfriend was 35 in my senior year of high school. I left him a month into the relationship since he had a 12 year old daughter. It felt a little wierd.

I finally met a great guy. He was a year older than me, but didn't go to my school. We were together for a year, and broke up right before my senior prom. I still have pictures of us together. After graduation in 2001, I went out with some friends and had fun. Nothing illegal, just some clean fun. We went to a country club and then out to the mountains, and finally to the mud pit to tear up one of the trucks. We had a blast.

During that summer, one of my guy friends introduced me to his cousin. We hit it off right away, and started dating. We were together a couple of months when he proposed to me. We were already living together at his parents place, and after the proposal we found out I was pregnant. We were happy and went out to celebrate. When I was five months pregnant, my mom and best friend Josh, took me to my checkup for the ultrasound. I found out that I was having a girl. I was so excited, but when I told my fiance about it, he was upset and disappointed. He claimed he couldn't have a girl, and that he would have to do something about it if I went through with the pregnancy.

Well, I did go through with the pregnancy, and I gave him his ring back. Whenever I left the house either my mom or one of my guy friends were always with me. Everyone knew who he was and made sure that he realized he wasn't welcome around our town. The first two weeks he tried sneaking around to spy on me and what not, but after different ones noticed, they made sure that he stayed out of the town. He finally stopped coming around and only resorted to phone calls. I got messages from him everyday threatening me if I keep the baby.

I ended up having her in 2002. She was a beautiful little girl. We both had some complications though, and they almost lost me. Then a month after we got her home, she stopped breathing in my arms and started turning blue. It was terrible. From that point on, we were in and out of the hospital with her the first year. Come 2003, I moved to Oklahoma with a friend of mine who had heard about the threats and all. This was my way out to a safe life, so I took it.

The first year there was constantly up and down. Trying to find a place to live and everything else. It wasn't easy. After a year, I met this really great guy, or so I thought at the time. We talked and talked. We both wanted the same things out of life and out of a relationship. I had a kid and he had two. After so long we moved in together. We were happy, then things slowly started going downward. He started acting all wierd and started scaring me a bit.

The first three months were spent getting over a funeral for one of his family members. This was a tragic time for him. Then a couple months later, he started pushing me around and shoving me into things. Come October 2004, I found out I was pregnant. We kept it a secret for the longest time since he didn't want anyone to know about it. On April 2005, she was born. We were so happy. Things went well for about a month or two, then they started getting bad again. He didn't want to come home, was always out fooling around, and didn't care what happened to us.

Come that August, I found out I was pregnant again. We didn't even try this time, but I was feeling sick and everything else, and everyone kept telling me to get checked so I did, and sure enough I was. He wasn't happy, but he wasn't upset either. He busted my head open at one point, threw things at me and our daughter, hit us, and pulled a gun on us at one point. I was so terrified I didn't know what to do.

We didn't have a phone, cable, car, or anything. He always had someone watching the house and following me around, so I couldn't really do much of anything. If I stepped outside the house, I got in trouble. When I was finally 5-6 months pregnant, he started having all of these promotions that he had to go do. Some were out of town and what not, so finally once I realized that he'd be gone for the weekend or so, I got smart and would go out my back door to the maintenance guys house and used the phone to call my mom.

I told her everything that was going on, and explained to her the situation. She made a couple of phone calls and come June of 06 my dad came down to get me and my daughter. He brought us back to his place. If it wasn't for my father, I don't know where we'd be right now, or if we'd even still be alive. I had my son two months later, and my dad was the first person to see him. It was a relief being able to give birth to him without any complications or anyone there to try and prevent it. I'm surprised we all made it this far, but am glad we were given the chance. My son is now almost a year old, and he is such a cutie. He started walking at 9 months and is all over the place now.

I am finally back in school. I wanted to go to college after high school, but screwed up along the way and never got the chance, but now I am able to do so. I stay home with the kids everyday, do an in-home daycare, and take online classes towards a degree in Business Admin/Mgmt. I think that I have really achieved a lot throughout my life given the ups and downs that came along the way. I just hope that my kids never have to go through anything like this, but at least if they do I will completely understand what they are talking about and will know what to do now.

Well, that's the story of my life, and I don't know what the future holds, but I hope to eventually meet a really great guy and get married. Possibly have another child with him, and eventually open my own business. I'd like to open a place where parents can leave their kids and at the same time be a place where the parents themselves can come to relax and meet other parents. I hope you enjoyed learning more about me, and if after reading this you have any questions or comments, please feel free to leave them and I will respond as soon as I am able.