The Lost Art of Dating

I have had countless conversations with my female friends about information they should not share while trying to impress their new, or potentially new boyfriend. Unfortunately they have told all of their secrets and wonder why the guy ran away like a prison escapee.

In a new relationship we want to form some type of emotional bond with the guy too quickly. We think after a few dates we have found "The One" and want to tell him our entire life history in one session, telling our girlfriends that he is so cool and understanding and such a good listener. Hold up ladies this is a big mistake!

First of all on your first few dates, do not divulge too much information, this will keep him interested and wanting to know more about you. If you are a chatterbox, try to limit your self by keeping your answer to his questions short, don't talk to quickly and smile while you are giving him your answer. If you find that you can't get away with giving a vague answer just say you don't know him that well, and you feel a little uncomfortable answering that question. Example if he asks you about past boyfriends try to keep it vague, even if you have had the most terrible break up in history, save that counseling session for your girlfriends night out. A man may seem understanding, but he is still a man! He doesn't want to know about your past lives, he wants to feel that he is one of few, even if it's not true, he wants to believe in the illusion so indulge him!

Try to keep your finances personal, you are not engaged to the man. No need for him to know about your finances unless he is a millionaire and is offering to settle all of your debt. Why should you tell him about your clothes fetish, or your spending habits, your mom and dad don't know that you're bad with cash, why should he? Most men like independent women, they don't want to feel as if they are picking up an extra bill by dating you. If you want to talk about finances talk about your career instead, and how you want to advance in your company. Please don't tell him how much money you make, you can't win with that one, he will either think you make too little, or he will be intimidated if you make more than he does. This does not apply to all men, but just to be on the safe side keep it hush hush.

Keep your beauty secrets just that a secret! If you have the wonderful opportunity to get some work done that's your business. All he should be interested in is the end result. He does not need to know that you color your hair or you that you have extensions, or get your mustache waxed every month, we need to learn to be a bit more discreet, look at some old black and white movies, they knew all about the art of seduction. Even if he asks about your assets, don't tell him the name of the plastic surgeon, and how much it costs.

Do not introduce him to your friends and family or your child too soon. Of course you can tell him you have a child or children or that you are divorced, but keep it light. He doesn't need a list of everyone's names and ages, he is dating you, not adopting your kids. He may not even get to meet your angels so don't go there. Your children should not be a secret, but do you want someone you have just met or been on a few dates with knowing all that information about them?

Telling a new or potentially new boyfriend any of this information takes fun out of dating, and it turns the guy off. Leave out the mistakes that that you have made in the past they have no place in date conversation, you have obviously learned from them so why bring them into your new relationship. Save the drama! You may realize that you don't even like the guy after you have been dating for a short period of time, you can end the relationship without that feeling that you have left yourself vulnerable by sharing too much personal information with him. I have even had a friend tell a new boyfriend that she has had several bankruptcies, I told her that was a major mistake, sufficed to say that relationship didn't last as long as the steam on a hot cup of coffee! While that may not have been the reason he broke up with her, it could have been a contributing factor.

We all want to make conversation but keep it lighthearted and simple. I know you are all thinking then what's left to talk about. How about your favorite movies things you like to do, funny stories, vacations you have been on, let the relationship unfold itself like a flower opening up to the sun, a little everyday until its in full bloom, take a lesson from nature, slow and easy.