The Lost Art of Thank You Notes

This is the computer age. Technology enables us to shoot off four or five email messages in the time it takes to write out a few simple words on paper and mail it. We can text message each other using symbols and acronyms that meant absolutely nothing to us five years ago. In this "advanced" world, we seem to have lost the art of saying a heartfelt thank you. Nothing seems colder than a typed letter or card and yet that's what we've reduced our thank you notes to. So why in the world would we revert back to "snail mail?"

Here are a few reasons why we should re-learn the art of thank you notes and how to do so:

First, as I mentioned before, nothing seems colder than sending a typed message. Handwritten thank you notes are from the heart. Handwriting means you have stepped out of your computer comfort zone and were truly thankful for the gift.

Second, we need to send thank you notes out of uncommon courtesy. I say "uncommon" because it really is unheard of to send thank you notes. Twenty years ago, the uncommon thing was not sending notes. The gift giver spent time and money finding just the right present for you and it is good manners to acknowledge that action. Even if the gift was not something you like, it is still important to at least let the giver know his or her actions were appreciated.

Third, a thank you note is a way to let the giver know you received the present. With families and friends spread living over the country and the world, most gifts are mailed. A thoughtful note will let the sender know that his gift was received and not lost in the dead letter office.

But the gift isn't always a tangible object. It could be a gift of someone's time or resources. Send thank you notes for meals prepared for your family when you were having a baby or for help with a work project that went above and beyond the call of duty. Nothing makes someone feel better than knowing their work was helpful and appreciated.

Another question that comes up in writing notes is when to send one. The best answer is, when in doubt, write one. Any gift given and opened in person doesn't require a written thank you note but a note is still a very nice gesture. Thank you gifts do not require thank you notes. For any wedding shower or wedding gift or baby/baby shower gift, always send a note even if the gift was opened in person.

There are several ways to approach thank you note writing. One of the simplest ways to start is by expressing your gratitude. Acknowledge the gift and the giver in the note. Thank you notes do not have to be lengthy. A few examples: "Thank you for _______. It means so much to me that you cared." "I am so grateful for your help with _______. I couldn't have completed the project without you."

Writing thank you notes for cash gifts can be somewhat challenging. Approach this with the same simplicity. Thank the giver for the money, without mentioning the sum, and if possible, let them know what you plan to do with the cash. For example, "Thank you very much for the gift of money you sent for my birthday. I am putting it towards my college fund." Or, "thank you so much for the gift of money you sent for our baby. We are putting it towards a car seat. Whenever we see the seat, we will be reminded of your generosity."

So practice some uncommon courtesy- start writing thank you notes. The recipients of these notes will be so pleased that you took the time to acknowledge their gift.