The Lost Hostess Gift

Although most rules of etiquette have been tossed by the wayside over the past 30 years, there are some things that civilized people still remember to do. Believe it or not, polite guests bring hostess gifts. But what is a hostess gift? A hostess gift is a token gift for the hostess of an event you are attending. A hostess gift should be something special and indulgent that your hostess may not consider buying for herself. It should be an item somehow connected to the home or entertaining such as champagne, wine, flowers, special treats, or candles.

Hostess gifts are considered optional when attending casual events such as cocktail parties or open houses. However, during the holiday season, you should bring a hostess gift to even these casual events. A hostess gift should always accompany you to dinner parties, overnight stays or large special occasion parties. These events take a great deal of planning and effort and every hostess likes to know that her efforts were appreciated by her guests. Overnight guests should spend a bit more on their gift. While a scented candle set is a nice gift, it hardly says thanks for the Egyptian cotton sheets and fresh flowers on my nightstand. Something personalized, a potted plant, cookbooks, cheeses, gourmet foods, crystal or silver are some great ideas for a hostess that has opened her home and her guest bedroom to you.

When wrapping your hostess gift, always remember to attach a gift tag. Your un-tagged gift will likely be lost in the shuffle at a large party. By attaching a gift tag, your hostess will know who brought the gift and will likely appreciate your kindness and invite you back!

As with any other gift, give your hostess gift some thought. It isn't reasonable to expect food or beverage gifts to be served the evening of the party. Your hostess has likely already planned the beverage service and provided for it. If you think a special food or beverage gift may enhance the evening, be sure to send it early so that your hostess can make the appropriate arrangements for serving it. Flowers should also be sent early. It would hardly be convenient for your hostess to try to find a vase for flowers as she is greeting her guests.

Lastly, toys for a hostess' children are always welcome but be sure to give some thought to those as well. Make sure they are age appropriate, quite and won't create a mess. Few hostesses will be able to keep their cool during dinner when their children are demanding to play with their new finger paints or drum set. Gifts like that will ensure you are never invited to another of that hostess' parties ever!

The hostess gift may seem to be an old fashioned idea in our post modern world but the fact is, everyone enjoys receiving gifts and a small token that your purchased (or made) with consideration for your hostess is the least you can do for someone who has opened their home to you.