The Magic of Reward Charts

So many parents find discipline increasingly difficult nowadays. Many of us worry about how to find that fine line between being too harsh with our children, and providing firm boundaries for them. It is so difficult sometimes to provide guidance, and when kids do misbehave a whole new set of problems arises - to punish or not to punish? One of the best tried and tested ways to deal with these issues is by using a very simple yet ingenious solution. A reward chart can make life easier for the parent and teach valuable lessons to the child at the same time...

1. Make the chart together. The chart itself should have on one side a short list of tasks which you want your child to complete, say for example eating their greens, tidying away toys, going to bed on time... along the top it should have the days of the week so that a star can be awarded each day the child completes each task. Spend time making a big colourful chart which the child can take pride in - it will make it all the more special to them and they will be more likely to stay interested in it. The bolder the better! Every now and then come up with a new idea for a new chart - if your child loves cars make a road which his little car must travel along (propelled by his good behaviour) to reach the reward. There are lots of ways to create fun interpretations of the chart which will suit the individual child.

2. The reward! When the child has done well and been awarded enough stars, decide on a reward, perhaps a trip to the cinema, a small toy or something else which you know will provide motivation and something to look forward to. Make sure the goal you set the child is challenging but reachable - too easy and the child will realise there is an opportunity to let some of the tasks slip (eating their veg is usually the first to go!) whereas too much of a challenge will be frustrating for the child (and for you).

3. Talk to the child. Talk about how the chart works, making sure they know that they are working towards a reward. Encourage them to show friends and family members how well they are getting on. Try to include the chart every day as part of a routine so the child knows the importance of making a constant effort. Make this time fun, looking over the events of the day, discussing why any tasks weren't completed, and how great it is that some were. Point out how close they are to that reward. Feel free to add extra stars/points for any particularly lovely behaviour, be fair and remember that they will learn to value the behaviour you reward and you should see a lot more of it, so never add 'pity points' (an extra star for that time they fell off their bike).

These tips should help you and your child to work together towards improving their behaviour without the need for harsh discipline, the child will very quickly realise that being good is much more rewarding. This is a valuable lesson, teaching the child to aim high and enjoy the everyday tasks he or she is presented with. By making the chart fun and using it to chat with your child about the day, the whole issue of discipline becomes simplified - a proactive approach means that the child is being taught how to behave positively, rather than waiting until the child misbehaves and punishing them. This will lessen tension and lead to much more fun (and less headaches) for the whole family!