The Manipulative Gossip in Your Workplace

Although they can be male or female, from any walk of life, wealthy or impoverished, formally educated or not the cohesive mark of a manipulative gossip is that they excel at morphing even your most innocuous comments into a vast fleet of verbal dreadnaughts programmed to annihilate your image in the workplace.

Manipulative gossips are adept at making friends and advancing themselves in the office by choosing you as a target, pretending to befriend you and then using your own words to besmirch you at every opportunity. The manipulative gossip differs from the self destructive gossip (to be discussed in another submission) because the former are a fully premeditated bunch in sharp contrast to the largely uncomprehending latter group. Make no mistakes, manipulative gossips mean their targets harm, whether it is to get ahead in the workplace, to fill the empty abyss that was once occupied by their withered hearts or to bolster their weak self image by making you look worse than they do in the eyes of those who surround you.

No subject or area of your life is off limits for the manipulative gossip, they are extremely enterprising and contort and share information about your health issues, family status, and any remark that they either heard you make or think you might make. Yes. When you discover a manipulative gossip and understandably begin to guard yourself against them by limiting contact; they will begin to think for you and skillfully misinterpret even the faintest expressions that pass across your face then share what they think you might say with others as gospel.

Manipulative gossips are neither to be trusted nor underestimated, for they are world class actors and shrewd wordsmiths who keenly understand that words can be honed into powerful weapons. A pause here, an inflection there, a synonym in a shade of negative connotation cloaked with the sheerest threads of what you actually said are all devices employed by the manipulative gossip in service to their destructive agenda.

And too, manipulative gossips are relentless and resourceful in their pursuit of misinformation, they are out to edit, contort your image (that is, what others think of you) as their own product and will stop at nothing to achieve their aim.

You may think that you are not all image; that others will be able to see through the misinformation and treat you accordingly but know this, the manipulative gossip chooses their audience very wisely. An unhappy co-worker, a lifetime malcontent, a detached boss too lazy or socially inept to get to know his workers first hand can provide fertile ground for the foul seeds sown by a manipulative gossip. Manipulative gossips can get others to think you are cheating them when you take a designated personal day off, that you were not really ill when you had to go home early, that you are having an affair if you say hello to anyone of past puberty in their presence. Manipulative gossips will say that you are on the brink of bankruptcy if you fail to purchase peanut brittle from their child's school or that you have a substance abuse issue if you come to work with a headache.

If you begin to keep the manipulative gossip at arm's length to protect yourself, they may report that you are aggressively victimizing them by not engaging them in prolonged conversation. They may tell your boss that you are a poor worker if you don't appear absolutely ecstatic about a project that has been assigned to you. Amongst your peers, the manipulative gossip will mark you as boastful if you share any good news in your life or else portray you as utterly pathetic if something bad occurs in your life.

Unfortunately, many unhappy and gullible people are fully willing to drink the poisoned Kool-Aid served out of the manipulative gossips' cauldron to get a sugar thrill and justifiably acting out against you for your alleged trespasses. Do not forget this point, some people derive great enjoyment and a sense of belonging from this sort of office drama and will employ their best efforts to perpetuate it.

Head on confrontation with the manipulative gossip is not advised; for they will only deny that they have done or said something to your detriment and make you appear paranoid and peevish while they look shocked and hurt by your apparent social coarseness. If you go to your manager about the manipulative gossip, be careful in your presentation, do not blame or be specific or you will appear to be petty. If you are offered any bromides or platitudes by your manager, it is safe to assume that they either don't care or that they too have succumbed to the manipulative gossips' machinations and will offer you no assistance.

If you find yourself targeted by a manipulative gossip you should try the following tips:

1.
Keep your interaction with the manipulative gossip short and succinct, give them zero ammunition.

2.
Don't try to analyze the manipulative gossip even though their behavior may be utterly and weirdly fascinating. You will only be wasting your time and thoughts on a winless situation. Whatever the manipulative gossips' motivation, the circumstances leading to their current behavior happened long ago and you were not there, you did not do it to them.

3.
Do not attempt to appease the manipulative gossip, this will only incur their wrath and make the rumors they spread even more virulent as they will see you as a pushover.

4.
Smile at them if they engage you in conversation where others can see but not necessarily hear you. This will make you seem to others like a good friend to the manipulative gossip and the manipulative gossip like your betrayer when they next talk about you negatively.

5.
If you find yourself in a conversation with the manipulative gossip close to others, talk loudly, be very positive in everything you say, their minions will hear you and this will thwart the manipulative gossips new attempts to give you bad press. For if they do give you bad press after such a display everyone will know them for what they are and they will be disdained for it.

6.
If the manipulative gossips' poison has spread to other departments, be as friendly yet as enigmatic as possible to those workers. Always look as if you have just had the best news, that you are glowing for joy from within. Give them a hello with a little wave added and let the corners of your eyes crinkle as you smile. After a time, a small number of people will begin to wonder just what the manipulative gossip objects to about you.

7.
Never engage in any negative conversations about anything to anyone who might have been exposed to the manipulative gossip. The weather, your automobile, a co-worker, a boss, the company, etc...are all off limits.

8.
Never divulge that anything good is going to happen in your life or is going to happen be it your child's acceptance to Yale, your pending vacation to Italy, your pregnancy, a new automobile etc... On the personal side work toward being a mystery whenever possible. If you are asked specifically by the manipulative gossip or their minions about that new car you are driving just say "Yes." "I bought a car." Say it as if you are saying "I have an active hemorrhoid" as if you are repulsed by the subject (but keep smiling) and turn the conversation back to them in a positive way.

9.
If the manipulative gossip says something negative about someone be it you, a fellow employee, a celebrity or the latest suspected criminal on the news, inquire as to the manipulative gossips' state of mind and health, tell them that you are concerned that they are having a bad day and urge them to think positively. Maintain eye contact when you do this, keeping in mind tips four and five then end the exchange. You can suddenly walk away or check your cell phone for calls in order to signal that you are roo busy to talk. Do not wait for a reply from the manipulative gossip for you must cut them off. Be sincere and keep in mind that the manipulative gossip is a sad person inside, their heart has been withered away and they are immersed in a type of protracted mourning for their loss.

When dealing with a manipulative gossip it is important to know that you are by no means their only target. If the other targets are also in the workplace, do not commiserate with them, for at least one will share what was said with the manipulative gossip in an attempt to appease them and gain a respite from the onslaught for themselves. Remain focused on your work while at work; do not get caught up in the manipulative gossips' ceaseless campaign against you because it really is not about you at all.

Finally, if these suggestions do not yield positive results after some time has passed then you should look for another job because the particular manipulative gossip in your orbit will never stop trying to control your image in the eyes of others with their verbal machines of war.