The Man's Journey II

It was pitch black in the valley of darkness, and very cold. Knelt in calm meditation, the man's eyes flickered behind his lids, focused on something unseen. The darkness moved toward him, surrounding and imposing.

"Give me strength," he whispered.

His eyes shot open and stared into the darkness.

"I am not afraid," he said evenly.

A black orb whizzed by his head, taking a lock of hair in its pass. The man's hand shot up, missing the orb by a mile.

"I am not afraid," he said more forcefully.

Another orb. It shot down low, grazing his leg and drawing blood. This time, the man could not help but wince a little.

"I am not afraid," he grumbled with wrath. He began to preternaturally glow, holy light flooding from his eyes and hands. I am strong enough, the man thought.

The darkness replied with a shotgun blast of black orbs, striking the man dead center in the chest. He flailed his arms as he was slammed on his back. He was afraid. But he could not show it.

Wrath. Yes. Fight fire with fire.

"I. . . AM. . . NOT. . . AFRAID!!!" his voice turned guttural, his eyes red and the light from his hands diluted with blackness.

Flipping to his feet, the man lunged toward the darkness with his fingers shaped like talons, striking first, then kicking. An aerial flip lead to two consecutive roundhouses, a reverse aerial roundhouse, and a dual pluck with his fingers. The darkness materialized in many different shapes, but the man overcame them. The orbs were first deflected, but before long he had a massive handful of dark substance.

"I AM NOT AFRAID!!!" he vehemently repeated as he began to devour the darkness he had scourged, black juices dripping from his face like grapes, feasting on the suffering he knew he was bringing the darkness.

"I am not afraid," he whispered with ecstasy. "And I have won." His voice was so guttural it was a bark.

Laughter rose up from his lungs. It was only a chuckle at first, but then voracious laughing exploded from his chest with his head pointed at the sky.

Pain.

It hurt. Badly. He grabbed his stomach and doubled over in agony.

"I won," he repeated, trying to convince himself. He wretched all over himself.

"Yessssssss," a voice hissed in his ear. "I have won."

"No!" the man said, trying to get up again. "I..." he coughed and wretched once more.

"... am me," the other said, finishing his sentence.

"No," he whispered before heaving with great force.

The darkness descended upon him as a fog. A serpentine shape formed around the man's limp body, constricting him, cutting into him like a tight chain.

"I am you. Do not deny it," the voice loudly hissed.

The man cried out in despair and agony as his soul was being crushed under the weight of darkness.

"Please!" he screamed. "PLEEEEAAAASE!!!"

"No one will help you," the voice shrieked in his ear.

Help.

The man's mind rallied around this word. This single word, if only it would be true, would be his only hope.

Hope.

The man hoped someone would help.

"HELP!" the man screamed like as a child.

"Let him go."

Was that thunder? No, it was too gentle to have been. It was a man's voice, but like no man he had ever heard. He was beyond help... wasn't he?

The darkness shrieked in response, a cacophony of denials. The man was surprised as the darkness relented its grip. He still felt the pressure upon his mind, but at least he could sit up.

And that's when he saw him. One so brilliant and shining as the sun, the man could not stare for long.

"Who are you?" the tormented man asked.

"I'm everything you've wanted. I am the one who's haunting you. I am the eyes inside of you that stare back at you."

Suddenly confused, the man asked, "You've... been watching me?"

"I am watching you because you need Me. Yes, because you need Me, I've been watching you."

"What do you want from me?" he asked, suddenly suspicious. But his suspicion soon faded as the desperation he once felt came back. "Can you help me?"

The blinding one came forward with an extended hand.

"There's nothing left to lose. There's nothing left to prove. Surrender your love--It's all you can do."

Weeping with despair, the tormented man reached out and grasped the hand offered to him.

"What do you got? What do you want? What do you need? Tell Me, I'm going to be your savior."

There was a sizzle as their hands linked and the brilliant man's light cascaded upon the tormented man's limp and darkened form. Light whiter than the clouds permeated him and chased away the darkness.

The man cried out as the light coursed through him, closing his eyes against the purity, but his savior comforted him.

"Everything's going to crash and break. But I know, yes, I know what you got, what you want, what you need. And I am going to be your savior."

The savior held the man closely and then stood them both up.

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Realizing he was made whole, the man looked his savior in the eye. "Thank you," he said with immense gratitude.

With a nod of affirmation, the man went out against the darkness. Rather than combat it, he was driven by the sound of another's cry. Following it, he discovered another likened to himself;a girl chained, choked, despaired.

"Wake up!" he shouted to the girl.

She only stirred in annoyance that her death was being impeded.

"Listen, just listen," the man said. "I--"

"Go away," she mumbled near incoherently.

"But I can help you!" the man implored. He grabbed her chains and began pulling on them, but rented nothing but her skin. Unsuccessful, the man's eyes burned with fire and he put every ounce of will he had into breaking the chains. Brimstone arose from the chains due to his effort, but they withstood his attack.

"Can't you just leave me alone?!" the girl screamed emphatically.

The man's persistence was offset by her demand, and by how he saw darkness on his hands from touching her chains. Fear penetrated his being; darkness had come out of him as he tried to free her.

Perish the thought!

It must have been her. Yes, that explains it. No more darkness in him. That was pushed away. The black brimstone came from her, not him! But he had to help people. He couldn't just stand idly by in the midst of so much torment.

After a moment, he realized he was not alone. There were many others going about, tending to the dark afflictions of others. These were aglow with light as well, yet there was darkness in them, as well.

"I will be with these," the man said. "They work in the light, and I can help them with their darkness."

The man greatly liked this plan, for he would be the greatest among the servants as well as avoiding the deadly darkness in those who were bound to it.

So the man went out, looking for fellow servants of the savior. He found an older man, much light in him, but still plenty of darkness to be excised.

"Hail the savior," the smart man said.

The older man graciously nodded. "Greetings, but if you will excuse me, I have a previous engagement."

He watched as the older man walked over to one chained in darkness, and whispered in his ear, pouring salve on his wounds, lit a flare, and moved onward.

"No one did that for me," the smart man muttered. He chased after the older man, ready to help him with his darkness.

"Excuse me, sir," the smart man said, approaching the older man from behind.

"Yes?" the older man said gently but hurried. He sneaked a look over his shoulder at other afflicted ones nearby.

"Well, you are such a nice man, but I just wanted to say that you would have done better if you actually took away those chains. You see, I see a bit of darkness in you that keeps you from really helping with people, but if--"

"I beg your pardon, but I know my duty and I would like to get back to it," the older man said abruptly. "Is there anything else?"

"Yes!" the smart man retorted. "You need to embrace the light and stop holding onto your darkness!"

"There is but one who is illuminated," the older man replied. "You are not he. I will be on my way now."

The smart man was shocked. This old man had not only resisted his admonition, but he actually accused him of being the darkened one! The smart man wondered how the old man didn't realize that the savior personally had chased all the darkness out of him? The thought stopped him cold. If the savior chased all of the darkness out of the old man just like himself, then maybe there was still darkness in himself?

Well, maybe superficially. The old man had a heart of gold; his darkness was only skin deep. That must be it. The humble, smart man realized that he and the old man were "good enough," and so he would find other servants in need of true help. And he ignored the feeling that said he was running from the truth.

Soon after, he found a young man, wandering about, grasping at many, trying to find his way as he helped others find theirs.

"I will help him," the smart, humble man said. Walking over to him, he said, "Looks like you could use a hand."

"Boy, could I ever!" the young man said, holding his hand out in the dark. "Thank you!"

"It's my pleasure," the humble, smart man said with a wide grin as he took the other's hand. I'm doing it! I'm helping someone!

"I wish I could see like you do," the young man said dejectedly.

"Oh, don't worry," the humble, smart man said. "There is only one who is illuminated, and I follow him. Stick with me, kid, and I won't let you down."

The two of them marched off together. Passing one who was afflicted, the young man said, "Wait. Shouldn't we try to help?"

The smart, humble man froze for a moment, afraid of the afflicted person's darkness. But he was smart and humble about it, not to mention that this may help the young man's own darkness.

"My duty is to others like us," the humble, smart man said. "But since there's an opportunity, yes, let's help."

Pulling on the chains, the humble, smart man instructed the young man to do likewise. The afflicted person appeared near death and did not speak.

"He's dying! We have to hurry!" the young man pulled with greater haste.

The humble, smart man looked at his young companion, his disciple, and saw that his eyes had taken a red glow and that the light on his body was not reaching the afflicted person, but rather the darkness was.

"Begone from me, you worker of lawlessness!" the humble, smart man said.

The young man was devastated. With tears in his eyes, he asked, "What did I do, master? Only what you said, I swear! I only did what I saw you do!"

"Liar," the discerning, humble, smart man said. "Look at the darkness coming off you, and the brimstone! You are a dark man!"

He turned to walk away.

"Don't go!" the young man said. "PLEASE!"

The discerning, humble, smart man paused, remembering his own screams when he was bound in chains. But the young man was so filled with darkness!

"You are a dark man," he repeated, then walked away, leaving the young man alone in his grief.

Wandering to and fro, growing in his stature and imaginations, the wise, discerning, humble, smart man encountered many people, but they steered clear of him.

"They are afraid of me," he told himself.

Other times, people were drawn to him, giving him precious stones, beautiful garments, adorning him with every rare metal and praiseworthy honor, but he kept them away. "I am above them--They cannot understand me," he explained.

Finally, the day came where the transcendent, wise, discerning, humble, smart man was faced with the Accuser, the avatar of darkness.

"What do you want?" the transcendent, wise, discerning, humble, smart man barked with cowardice disguised as strength.

"Only what you want, for our wills are joined," the Accuser said.

Unable to reply, the transcendent, wise, discerning, humble, smart man merely laughed.

"A weak counter, for only a fool laughs in the face of his folly," the Accuser sneered. "Face it, your will is my own, for you in the performance of your will, you have kept with mine."

"I do what I want," the transcendent, wise, discerning, humble, smart man replied meekly. "I don't answer to you."

"Au contraire," the Accuser chuckled. "In answering to yourself, you have answered to me. You walk in the valley of the darkness, and who do you think rules it? Your very senses which guide you take counsel from me."

A cold hand rose up from the transcendent, wise, discerning, humble, smart man's belly and clutched his heart with an icy grip. "Shut up!"

The Accuser snickered again. "In denial, are we? Yes, embrace more darkness while you're at it. The chains only grow heavier, and eventually you will be too weighed down in the mire to move."

For a moment, the transcendent, wise, discerning, humble, smart man's eyes were opened and he saw himself fettered, chained with a heavy ball at his feet.

"No!" he shouted, the vision of his bondage fleeing before familiar reality of his strength and liberty.

The Accuser stepped closer, and as he did so, the breath was squeezed from the transcendent, wise, discerning, humble, smart man's lungs.

"Keep lying to yourself," the Accuser mocked. "It only makes me stronger."

"Let's see if this makes you stronger!" the transcendent, wise, discerning, humble, smart man shouted in anger. He ran forward and delivered a devastating spinning jump kick to the Accuser's face. The avatar dissipated in a wisp of smoke.

Another image crashed through the transcendent, wise, discerning, humble, smart man's mind, being chained and pulled down into the mire and consumed by a monstrous maw beneath the ground.

No. It can't be. I am in control. I am victorious. I know I am!

The scary image went away as he kept telling himself these things, however, he was becoming weaker and weaker, and his body began to throb with pressured aching.

The transcendent, wise, discerning, humble, smart man began to weep in agony and despair. His pride was killing him, yet he could not accept the fact that he was in bondage. Only when consciousness began to retreat from him did he finally call out.

"Help," he whimpered at first. But nothing happened, and desperation began to kindle. "HELP!" he shouted louder. Still, nothing.

Oh, no! Did his savior abandon him! He promised he wouldn't!

But I abandoned him, the man admitted to himself. I am worse than before. . .

"Help if You want to," the broken man whispered into the darkness.

An instant passed as though it were an eternity.

"Release him."

The broken man's heart jumped for joy. He was hoping against hope, and it delivered. No-His savior delivered!

The Accuser hissed toward the shining one. "This dog is a traitor and fit for destruction!"

"I will have mercy on whom I have mercy. You are a traitor and unfit to condemn another. Get thee hence."

The Savior's words were a firestorm which carried the Accuser away in a wave of furious light. The avatar of darkness screamed into oblivion.

The broken man was suddenly alone with his savior. He could not look Him in the eye.

"I am so miserable, so corrupted, so DARK!"

The savior raised his voice. "There's nothing left to lose. There's nothing left to prove. Surrender your love--It's all you can do."

"I've shamed you and am unworthy to be redeemed!"

A tear shed from the savior's eye. "Have I not said, 'I want to be your savior,' and, 'everything is going to crash and break'?"

Looking up from his pit of despair, the broken man saw his savior weeping for him.

"I surrender!" he shouted with all vigor. "I surrender all!" He tore off his garments, his crowns, his precious gems, and cast them at his savior's feet. And as they fell to the ground, he saw them for what they were: adornments fashioned from dung, mud, and straw.

This made the broken man weep anew, seeing the worthlessness for which he had opposed his savior.

"How can you forgive me?" the broken man asked. "Tell me, and I will believe!"

His savior raised his hands in the air and sang out with overwhelming melody:

"I loved you long before you found Me. And then you gave your life to Me.

But should one day you turn and walk away,

I will always love you, I will always love you, I will always love you, yes I will. I always will.

My love will never cease to hold you. But should I have a change of heart.

It is because my heart has ceased to beat.

I will always love you, I will always love you, I will always love you, yes I will. I always will.

When all around you see the darkness. When you have sunk right to the depths,

No pit is so deep I'm not deeper still.

I will always love you, I will always love you, I will always love you, yes I will. I always will.

And when the day has almost ended. When evening comes and walls you in.

When there is no one else to comfort you.

I will always love you, I will always love you, I will always love you, yes I will. I always will.

Here are My arms for you to melt in. Here are My wings where you can hide.

Here are the tears that I have cried for you.

I will always love you, I will always love you, I will always love you, yes I will. I always will.

My love is constant as the sunrise. As changeless as the stars at night,

My child as sure as the turning tide,

I will always love you, I will always love you, I will always love you, yes I will. I always will.

I will always love you, I will always love you, I will always love you, yes I will. I always will."

The floodgates of the man's soul were opened, and his spirit poured out like water. He was emptied from the glory emanating from his savior. He looked unto his savior, whose face shone like the sun and his eyes like fire, piercing his soul with painful precision, yet filling him with love to the brim and over.

"Create in me a clean heart, oh Savior, and renew a right spirit within me!" the man cried so passionately his words were nearly lost in his pleading cry . "Cast me not away from your presence, oh Savior, and take not your holy spirit from me! Restore to me the joy of my rescue. I beg you, renew a right spirit within me!"

The savior stepped forward and set the man's feet upon a rock. He prepared a basin, and placed his hands with it.

"No!" the man objected. "No! Never! You mustn't serve me! I owe you everything; how can I permit this?"

"I must do this to fulfill all righteousness," the savior replied. "If I do not, then you can have no part with me."

"What?!" the man wailed in shock. "Why must you debase yourself if I am to have part with you? I must honor you rightly."

Suddenly, the man's eyes were opened, and his savior ignited with immense fire, his human form evaporating before indiscernible might and glory that extended as far as the eye could see. As though the sun itself had come unto him face to face, a voice greater than thunder and echoing louder than the man could bear crashed down upon him with all the weight of the tallest mountain.

"How else can you behold me?"

The man fell down as though dead. "Let it be according to your word," the man said breathlessly, in stark terror and sweet submission.

A gentle hand reached down and touched his shoulder. The man looked up to see the beautiful face of his savior. Without another word, the savior solemnly placed him upon the rock and splashed water on his feet. Taking a blade, the savior slit his hands and coated the man's feet with his blood.

The man was taken aback, his jaw hanging wide open. After splashing it once more, the savior bent over and dried the man's feet with his hair.

"What. . . what does this mean?" the restored man asked incredulous.

"It means that you are mine," the savior said emphatically. His eyes flashed with might as an exclamation point.

The man wept once more, this time in joyful revelation. "Your blood has covered all my sin. You turned this traitor into kin."

The savior embraced the man. Love coursed through him like a bolt of lightning, but rather than passing on, it lingered and increased to great measure.

"Do you love me?" the savior asked.

"Yes," the man whispered.

"I ask you, do you love me?" the savior asked.

"Yes, I do," the man replied.

"Tell me, do you love me?" the savior asked once more.

"Savior, you know I do!" the man emphatically said.

"Then feed my sheep."

The restored man stepped back. "But. . . Savior, I. . . have wounded so many. How could--"

His savior hushed his words. "Listen. There is but one who is good. I am the way, the truth, and the life. Bring all others unto me, and I will give them rest."

"I cannot free them, Savior," the restored man said dejectedly. "I tried, and. . . only darkness resulted."

His savior smiled graciously. "I am the light of the world, and apart from me there is only darkness. I have enabled you to walk in my light so that you may bring others unto me. Do nothing of yourself, but bring the afflicted and the bound to this place, unto this very Rock. Go in the strength that you have, and I will always be with you, even to the end of the world."

The restored man fell at his savior's feet, weeping on them and kissing them. "I love you, my savior!"

Those immensely powerful hands raised him up gently once more. Looking in the man's eyes so deeply that his soul fluttered to the point of breaking, the savior said, "Because I first loved you."