The Marriage Comfort Zone

This is a tempting trap that many women fall into. It most likely affects the divorce rate, so beware and take care. At some point in a marriage we all get to the "comfort zone". This can occur at any time depending on the woman. The point is that she goes into a "mode". One of her lowest priorities becomes caring for herself and her appearance. It all begins with spending less time on the hair, which then leads to less time taken on the face. Then there's a loss of interest in shaving the legs, and finally showering all together becomes neglected. It just goes down hill from there. Sadly, the things that tend to take precedence over one's own self are everyday duties and obligations. Tasks like transporting kids to school & activities, going to the store, cleaning the house, and picking up dry cleaning all become more important. This is the beginning of becoming a "Give-up Girl" and eventually she loses who she is altogether.

Make no mistake this is an internal process, but the external effects are disastrous. We see women out and about with badly colored & uncombed hair, dry worn skin, stretch pants with horrid panty lines, and big frumpy shirts. It should be a crime. And more importantly, you can almost tell these women feel as crappy as they look. SO! Don't slip into this trap. First, no matter what, either shower OR make sure your face, armpits and teeth are clean. This is the first step to remaining somewhat female. Although a nice layer of makeup would be best, if you really don't have the time, at least present your face. Put face lotion and lip balm on, curl your eyelashes, and possibly make sure your brows look clean and sleek. If you need to, put some dots of cover stick on any blemishes or dark masses. (Note: if dark masses and blemishes are commonplace, for crying out loud get more sleep and drink more water!) Make sure your hair appears fresh. If you have to, keep a fresh color on your hair (Sally Beauty and husbands work well for this) and make sure you comb it and present it. If it's long, do a nice wrap and "scunchi". If it's short, whip out a bit of gel and give it a work through unless it truly looks nice simply combed. Let's make sure and wear something clean. Dirty rumpled clothes are only accepted in Emergency room situations. Match your clothes to your face.

If you are doing the natural thing, wear some NICE athletic pants or sweats. Clean socks and a fresh T-shirt or sweatshirt look crisp and nice. Old worn stuff should be saved for yardwork and painting. If you have decided to put on some makeup, step up your clothes a bit with nice jeans, cotton dress, or overalls. Yes, I classify overalls in a higher category as sweats. It's all about material. Overalls will be made from denim, pressed cotton or corduroy. All of which present nicer that good ol cotton pants. And for crying out loud, tennis shoes are for playing sports and exercising! Do not wear them as part of an outfit, and please don't EVER wear them with your office clothes en route to work! You have no excuse. There are TONS of comfortable, cheap alternatives. I have a pair of taupe urethane (rubber) clogs that I could run a marathon in. Other options are; quality wooden clogs (love em!), penny loafers, any sort of slip-ons, Birkenstock sandals (or knock-offs), or Doc Martens shoes (or knock-offs). These are all very comfortable options and you look good. The primary reason for all of this is NOT to look good for others.

Preserve the care regarding yourself and how you look. This attention is needed to maintain a sense of pride in one's self. Set a good example for your kids and other people in your life. It's the foundation for a happy life and happy relationships.