The Marriage Relationship

A lot of people might think that I am the last person in the world to talk about marriage since my first marriage failed, but my current marriage is strong and wonderful and I think I have learned a lot along the way.

I look back and see what my first marriage was like and I wonder what I was thinking. I had to get my ex-husband up and around every morning and practically push him out the door to go to work, then when he came home he kicked off his shoes at the front door and grabbed a beer and planted his rear on the couch in front of the television until dinner was ready, he would eat dinner and watch television until bedtime then he would go to bed then it would all start over the next morning. Notice Anything?? We had no communication at all.

In my current marriage, we started out communicating, in fact we communicated for over three months before we even met in person. By looking back on what I had before and looking at what I have now, I am telling you that the most important factor in a strong marriage is the ability to communicate.

My husband and I don't always communicate well, and when we aren't communicating we are having some serious problems until we realize what we are doing and we communicate and we fix it.

My husband and I have been married for going on nine years now and I can honestly tell you that in those nine years, our most serious fights and arguments have been because of a lack of communication between the two of us. I am having to learn how to not over react with a lot of things and he is having to learn how to really listen to what I am saying and not interrupt me to put his own thoughts into my mouth. We are far from perfect but I can truly say that we have a strong marriage and I couldn't be happier with my husband. Communication is the Key.

No matter what happens in your relationship, you can keep it together just by talking things out and communicating with one another, if you can communicate then you have succeeded in one of the most important aspects of marriage.

One of the most important things to remember is that communication isn't just talking, it involves listening also. Communication is talking and listening to the other person, expressing yourself openly and being able to trust that the other person is going to at least try to understand your point of view. My husband and I don't always agree on everything, in fact, we tend to not agree on a whole lot, but we try to listen to one another and try to accept the other person's point of view and come to an agreement that we both can agree on.

My parent's have been married for over 35 years now and the one thing that has always stuck with me growing up and even now is their ability to communicate with one another and really listen to the other person's point of view. There has been many of times that my mom hasn't agreed with my dad or my dad hasn't agreed with mom but they always talk it out and come to an acceptable agreement that they both can live with and this ability has kept their relationship strong for over 35 years and they both will tell you that their not perfect but their perfect for one another.

If you are having problems in your relationship, communication can not solve everything but it can open the door and lead you somewhere that your relationship might be able to survive. Communication is one of the most difficult things in the world for two people because it can mean on countless occasions having to meet someone half way, or having to admit that you might not be right in a situation. It takes a lot of work to be able to communicate effectively and it isn't always easy by no means, but I can tell you honestly and from experience that it can heal a relationship that is in trouble by just starting with this step.

For more information on effective communication and troubled relationships there are countless resources on the web or in your local library. Just a few of the websites that I have come across are http://www.hodu.com and http://www.earthlingcommunication.com, there are also countless books on the subject if you are someone who likes to read like I am.

I hope that you will try my suggestion of communicating with one another and I hope that it helps you in every aspect of your life.