The Mean Bean - a Rhyming Spurt to Stay Alert

What's wrong with having more caffeine?
I read this in a magazine.
Headaches, nerves and lack of sleep;
One cup, and you can get in deep.

It's an addiction, like a drug.
I think I'll have another mug.
But make it black; I can't stand cream.
The holy bean, it reigns supreme.

It leads to ulcers in the gut.
I don't believe that scuttlebutt.
My acid reflux, that's from work
Because my boss is such a jerk.

Who cares if I have coffee stains,
Upon my teeth; no one complains.
We raise our cups each coffee break
With steaming lattes, wide awake.

I heard it causes dehydration.
So that's the problem with our nation.
Someone better call the cops;
We're hanging out at coffee shops.

I drink with friends; I drink alone,
But never drink from Styrofoam.
The smoke is rising from my cup;
I simply cannot give it up.

So what's the harm in a little caffeine?
So what, if it makes me lean and mean?
I ask my family, what'll it be?
Will you have coffee, tea or me?