The Media Influences Boys and Girls Differently

Boys endure just as much pressure from the media to conform to society's expectations as girls do---what differs between the two is the type of pressure they face. While our society generally assumes that girls are weak, sensitive, and indecisive, society perceives boys as just the opposite: they are strong, stoical, and endlessly confident.

Both girls and boys are encouraged to groom themselves in order to attract a suitable mate, but the type of "grooming" differs. While girls are told to groom themselves physically, boys are more often told to groom themselves behaviorally.

Boys who are expressive about their emotions, who are overly concerned about their appearances, and who go out of their way to be courteous to others are considered effeminate and therefore less desirable as mates. After all, ours is a society that still uses the expression "Men don't cry" and is quick to accuse a primping man of being gay (why is it that 'metrosexual' rhymes with 'homosexual'?) This caveman ideal arises primarily from media icons, who promote tough-guy attitudes as the winning attributes for "getting girls." Movies like "Back to the Future," where the gentle nerd wins the girl are rare in our culture. Bad boy types raging as the heroes are much more common. Think James Dean or John Travolta's character in "Grease." So let's be honest: many American boys avoid discussing their feelings for fear of persecution by their peers and adopt rude habits and perhaps even destructive activities instead. How many times have I seen guys publicly feeling themselves up? (Yes, I would categorize that as rude.) How many male rappers or rock stars repeatedly curse and name-call in their songs? I certainly remember growing up with Eminem's aggressive and misogynist songs.

Girls, on the other hand, are subject to pressure from the media to be "pretty"---but the definition of beauty is very narrow, which is why the number of plastic surgery operations steadily increases each year. Think about all of the female pop and movie stars who have recently had breast augmentations, for instance, and how accepting society has become of it. Discussing plastic surgery used to be taboo and now articles about it make the covers of magazines like Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, People, and others. Modern girls go at great lengths be conventionally beautiful. Right now the look calls for a large bust, a small nose, narrow hips, long legs, long eyelashes, high cheekbones, flawlessly tan skin, and long, straight hair; such a combination rarely occurs naturally. Make-up, clothes, and other cosmetics are ever popular because they help achieve this unique look. Girls are not encouraged to be violent and aggressive like boys because hostile tendencies are considered masculine. Instead, they're told to groom themselves physically in order to attract a mate.

Neither pressure is fair or practical. The message media should be sending boys and girls is to take care of their health, respect themselves, and respect others. If they observe basic hygiene and remain true to themselves, they should have no trouble finding a partner---no matter what Hollywood says.