The Messenger

It was all I could do, to keep from losing my mind. Here I was, four years without a drink of alcohol, and
things still haven't changed all that much. People from the Twelve Step Program were starting to annoy me. I was giving the less fortunate ones rides to meetings. I was doing all kinds of service work. Chairing meetings seemed to be getting old. It was like pulling teeth to get someone to come in early to make coffee. Also, I was getting tired of hearing what the others would have to say. To me it seemed that they were stuck, and had no way of learning new slogans, or did I just look for the old way?

I was living in an old farmhouse, on top of a hill, that was as peaceful as any place can be. I chopped wood to heat the house. It was the best place for a recovering alcoholic to live, with plenty of open fields and woods to roam around and play in.

" Time for me to get the heck out of here".
I said to myself. All the logs were split. The Horse had plenty of grain and hay. If someone from the program called, the answering machine was ready to take their message.

I packed all my things I needed, for my three days of hiking on the Loyal Sock Trail. I have read somewhere that at the end of a three day hike, an animal appears with a message the following morning. Some may call it three days of fasting. Others may call it a vision quest. I call it getting the hell away from people journey. Like the leaves on a tree in the autumn, I was starting to fall away from my tree. Hopefully to have sprung into a new tree, at the end of my journey.

It was an awesome, fall, Wednesday morning when I had arrived. I placed on the pack and started on my hike. Instantly I started to feel better about myself all ready. The creek was absolutely gorgeous. The trees were in their full, vibrant, autumn colors. The air was very crisp. As I started to light up a smoke, I figured that, that would just destroy the pristine surroundings, so I tucked it back in my shirt. There wasn't anybody ahead of me on the trail. I quickly figured that out, for I wasn't prepared for the stretched out spider webs every six feet. Mother nature was quick to supply me with a hiking stick though, so I used it to fend them off.

I must admit that at night, all by myself, with my senses heightened to the max, I did worry about a bear coming into my little camp made up of a coffee cup, and a sleeping bag. I thought to myself that maybe a bear would be the animal on the third day.To be honest, this scared me. Then I remembered that, If God is with me, than who can be against me.

The second day was treacherous. It seemed like when I reached the crest of a climb, there was more to climb. Not to mention that I was running low on water. I was up in the high country with only two bars of granola left. I reached a spot by a large pond. The signs of busy beavers were everywhere. It was getting late so I decided that I would make camp under the thick pines. It was at this spot where I was debating rather to head back in the morning, or keep on keeping on. I wasn't about to drink that stagnant pond water.

The next morning after I cleaned up my camping spot, I noticed that there was a truck on the north side of the pond with its lights still on. I figured I would do them a favor and turn them off. But not without looking in there for a lonely bottle of water. I turned the lights off. About the same time I noticed a cooler on the seat, some laughter came to my ears. There at a pavilion, fifty feet away, were two park rangers taking their break. I wandered over to them and let them know that they left there lights on. I was hoping to get a drink from them when she asked me if I would like a couple bottles of water for my journey. I agreed and went on my way, thinking to myself that I must have really looked ragged for her to offer me that water.

The third day was much the same. One thing I did notice though, was that I didn't see one animal on the whole hiking trip. Thinking that this was a wasted time off from work, I started to pick up my pace. Feeling very hungry, I ate the last granola bar. Then five hours later feeling really, really hungry, I stumbled into a natural apple orchard. Man, what luck I fall into. I hiked until nighttime, almost to the end of the trail. The park was just ahead so I made camp. Tomorrow was the big day. The annual Powwow in Forks ville, Pa. was happening. It was there that I would meet up with my friend Many Colors, and let him know what animal came to me.

It was an absolute, foggy morning when I awoke. l put my cup to the side of me. I then reached for my matches to light a fire. All of a sudden there came a deer snort. I jumped to my feet as if water was dumped on me, as I was sleeping. Then it snorted again, and stomped on the ground, as if to tell me something. "What's the message?" I asked. But that's all it would do. Snort and stomp. Maybe Many Colors can make sense out of this.

I get to the Powwow, which was quite baffling. As I passed the main entrance, a man asked me," What took me so long, and why are you out there?" I found my dear friend Many Colors, and told him about the deer that appeared to me that morning. " He didn't say a damn thing." I explained. "Oh he said a lot". "He said that you do not speak my language, and I do speak yours. You need to be among those that understand you, as a recovering alcoholic". It was than, that I understood why I was, where I was,and how I was going to live the rest of my life. Needing people.

I looked up the symbol, and the significance of the deer. Here is what it read. Deer - Love, gentleness, kindness, gracefulness, sensitivity, purity of purpose, walking in the light, swift, nimble, meek, gentle, meditation, love, longevity, wealth. He is the gate keeper to those listed above.