The Miley Cyrus Controversy & What Parents Can Do

Recently Miley Cyrus caused an uproar by posing in Vanity Fair....baring her back. In my opinion, the photo was in good taste, although it does make her look older than the age of fifteen. Then again, a lot of teenage girls at the age of fifteen look older by putting on makeup, doing their hair and wearing stylish clothing.

Teenagers wear less clothes at the beach donning their swimsuits and bikinis than Miley did on the cover of Vanity Fair.

Disney was upset when Hugh Hefner asked her to pose in PlayBoy in three years when she turns the legal age of eighteen.

I recently saw Miley in an interview. She sure seems to have her head on straight and tell it like it is. I for one, do not see Miley following in Britney Spears footsteps with all of her troubles. I could be wrong, but Miley has her father, Billy Ray, to help her who is also famous. I am sure they have had many talks about the trials and tribulations of being famous.

One thing that bothers me about this is why nudity is so horribly wrong versus children playing video games that kills people?! Of course I don't want naked people thrown in my children's faces but the other day I told my husband, it's so odd that we block the television set when a couple is naked; yet when a movie is on and there is shooting and killing of people, the kids walk by, and we don't block it. Have we as a society become so numb to the entertainment of killing people? Yet put a naked person or couple on television and we are freaking out!

We are born without clothes. We are not born as killers. Something just doesn't seem right to me.

I think we should be focusing on watching what our children are learning from television. Two years ago, my son was addicted to the cartoon Family Guy at the age of seven. I never really listened to the cartoon. I figured the cartoon is on Nickelodeon, it IS a cartoon, and after all it is called "Family Guy"!

One day I decided to snuggle next to him and watch this cartoon with him. I was shocked at the bad language and behavior of the characters! Family Guy was taken off of his list of shows to watch.

Our children tried very hard in school so we told them they could have a television in their room. That way thirty minutes before bed, the kids can unwind, and fall asleep. Well, I found out my oldest son was sneaking up in the middle of the night and watching horror movies. He now knows if he is caught watching television in the middle of the night, it will be taken away forever. Supervise! Block out channels that are inappropriate for children. We learned our lesson.

I am facilitating a parent group that meets once a week discussing today's toxic culture. Bill Oliver is a wonderful person who created a program to help parents. His own daughter ran away and become drug dependent. His entire family enrolled in a drug treatment center. Through the turmoil Bill Oliver created the Parent To Parent program.

In this program, there are eight video tapes that explain why children are going into schools and shooting their classmates. The video tapes and hand-outs try to help parents to keep their children off of alcohol and drugs. He gave some very informative tips on helping parents.

Information that I have learned so far from this educational program is kids who are hugged do better.

Want your kids to do better in school? Read to your kids! We've heard that tip many times.

Want nicer kids? Supervise your kids! Bill Oliver said make sure your teenager knows at any moment you could show up to the party he or she is at. That may help them from trying drugs or drinking. They'd be too worried knowing you may walk in at any minute. When they are teenagers DO show up at a party.

Love each other and bond as a family. Kids will do better than if they do not have that connection.

Bill Oliver mentioned kids who attend church, synagogue or mosque do better than kids who do not attend.

This program showed that the Sexual Revolution changed our society. Hugh Hefner brought PlayBoy to our attention. Sex became fun. With sex becoming care-free and fun, it also equaled death due to diseases. So maybe parents and Disney getting in an uproar about role model Miley Cyrus was not too off-base. (Although to me, that photo was not offensive. I am sure it is to other parents. Maybe I have become desensitized?)

The Chemical and Drug Revolution also changed our society. Chemicals and drugs became fun. Which in turn brought overdoses, addictions, needles and diseases, and more death.

Violent entertainment became fun with video games letting your child kill people. Children are becoming more and more addicted to video games. I see it in my own children. (Their time has been cut-down on the Wii.) If your children play shooting games over and over it will desensitize them. Also, watching horror films that kill people over and over is a form of entertainment. So now killing and death has become a form of entertainment. .

Studies have found that the new way kids are coming into schools and shooting a large number of people has changed. The way they shoot is the same way you would play a video game shooting. This way of shooting is different than the way murderers have done in the past.

Each "fun" thing brought one thing in common: Death.

Bill Oliver uses the analogy of a pickle. If we take a cucumber and ferment it in vinegar.....it becomes a pickle.

If we take a child and expose him or her constantly to the toxic culture...it becomes the negative future of the child.

Not all children will follow in these footsteps. Some will. One child following in these footsteps is too much.

First the child is stimulated by the violence.

Then the child will emulate the violence. Which means they will buy the clothing and try to look like what is making them feel good.

Next the child will simulate the action. Act like what he is stimulated by. If no one is supervising the child, he is on his way to performing the action.

Performing the action is to carry out with the violent action. Or carry out with trying alcohol, drugs, etc.

We as parents are primary! Not the school. Yes, the school is there to help us. We have to set good examples and supervise our children. We need to get back to parenting and not try to be just our children's friends.

Exercises we did at the end of the video tape were:

1) Develop a list of activities to promote positive messages. Examples are reading with your children, have children read on their own, let your children see you reading a book or newspaper often. Go hiking as a family. Take a canoe or row boat ride together. Go swimming as a family unit. Play sports together. Play croquet or board games. Praise your children when they do well.

2) Take newspapers to a group of parents and have parents look through it to find movies that the group would feel comfortable letting their children see. Also, discuss movies that your children recently have seen and talk about the messages being taught. Is it a positive message? Was it violent?

3) We made a list of video games and Internet sites that were good for kids. We came up with using E for Everyone for video games which is already on the video package. Kudos for that! The Internet sites we all agreed on using are:

Crayola.com
PBS.org
Cartoon Network
Disney Channel
NickolodeonJr.com

We all signed a contract that is included with the program handouts from the book "Parenting For Safe & Drug Free Youth." Talk to your school about getting a grant so you can attend these free classes as I cannot possibly list everything I learned at this class. I highly recommend it. This program states it has already helped many parents. The information I have given you so far is only from the first two tapes!

The contract gave us spaces for two items we want to work on. Secondly, you are to list how you will use this idea. Then once you put the idea into action, record it. There is a space left to write down what you have learned. Use the same format for the second item.

For me my first idea was to not let my children play video games that have a gun and shooting. The second action was to constantly monitor what they watch on television as I mentioned I 'thought' Family Guy was a no brainer! From discussing with other parents I found out Futurama is not a good television show for children either. Another 'bad' show for my boys that I have heard them talk about "not being able to wait until it came on tv."

If you want to find out your child's attitude sit in his or her room. Look around. What is on their posters? Bill Oliver asked what your child's t-shirts say. Items everywhere are screaming right at you what their attitude is! He used the analogy that if he walked into your home, he could tell what you were thinking. I looked around my own home. He was correct!

I love art. I have art pieces throughout my home. I like to create things and I have things I've made around the house. I love serenity and have candles, rocks, and outdoor items all around me to keep me calm and relaxed. I write poetry. Poetry is hanging in my home. I adore and love my children and husband. I have their photos placed all over and the children's precious artwork.

For years I have wanted to go to Italy on a romantic vacation with my husband. My kitchen is decorated with the oil bottles, grapes, vines, and Italian decorations.
With my love of art I have used textures and have used them in painting my walls throughout the house.

I urge you to recommend this program to your school! Help make your child a success by keeping things positive and away from today's toxic culture!