The Mind of Skinny

Does this dress make me look fat? Gosh, I wish I weighed what I did when I was twenty. I hate clothes shopping. I don't want to be fat. Believe it or not, these thoughts could be setting you up for failure. Lets face it. When most of us decide to begin a fitness program, or adjust our nutritional intake, it is usually to 'get in shape,' or 'lose weight,' because we woke up one day and didn't like what we saw in the mirror. These are negative thoughts. They are derived from our low self-image. These thoughts can slow the body down, making us feel hopeless. Therefore, when deciding to implement a more active and healthy lifestyle, we should first make adjustments in both how we think and how we view ourselves.

Visualize this for a moment. When you feel happy and healthy, and you get dressed in your favorite pair of jeans and tee shirt, you look in the mirror and think, "Wow I look great!" You don't see any of the things you view as detractors from your beauty. Conversely, on a day where you do not feel happy or healthy and you put on the exact same outfit, you look in the mirror and think, "What happened to me? I used to look so much better!" We see bulges or rolls that we didn't see on the healthy and happy day. What can this mean?

There are several reasons your mindset can affect your body. First, your posture. When you are happy and think yourself beautiful, you stand tall, your shoulders back, your abs contracted. Those happy thoughts seem to ooze from your skin causing it to glow. On the other hand, when you are feeling down, your shoulders slump, your abs are relaxed and your facial muscles are lax. This results in your stomach bulging out - not from any additional fat, but from your support structure, your core muscles, not being held in the proper position. So, yes, you may think you look 'fatter' but that does not mean there is any additional weight gain.

Furthermore, when we are down our system slows. Our respiration is slower, the blood pressure is lower, breathing slower and shallower, all of which indicates to the metabolism that we are tired and in need of sleep. This slows the metabolism - the fat burning system - as the body does each night before bed. So, even if you work out, you will not burn the same amount of calories - because your body is ready for sleep not activity. This is what sets us up for failure. By focusing on the negativity - "I hate being fat." "I wish I were skinny" - we are giving our body conflicting instructions. Our emotions want to get from point A to point B (to a healthier body) but our system is not set up for the steps needed for the actual trip.

Additionally, you need to break your love-hate relationship with food. If you are overweight, chances are you have set food up in your mind as either being of great importance or zero importance. Even if you do not eat regularly, you do not have a healthy view of what food is. Food is fuel, that's it. It will not make you happy. It will not fill your wallet or your bed. As fuel you need to eat at regular intervals. You wouldn't minimize the amount of gas in your car - crossing your fingers and hoping you'll make it to work. You shouldn't do that to your body, especially if you wish it to perform in weight loss. That being said, gorging on unhealthy foods is unnecessary.

So, how can we prepare our mind so it coincides with the needs of the body, setting ourselves up for success? Hard work. In my opinion, much harder work than instituting your Wellness Plan. Before the Wellness Plan can be effective, you must first change how you see yourself, and how you see your goals. This may seem conflicted, but think it through. First you must be happy and feel healthy in order to rev up your system so that you can become more healthy. This is the power of positive thinking. If you do not whole-heartedly believe you can achieve your goals - then you will not. So, first correct your mindset, then anything is physically possible.

Step1: Accepting the Past
--This should be performed before planning out your Wellness Plan, and can be performed periodically as is necessary.
*Stand in front of a mirror in your bathing suit. Really look at yourself. Do not judge, do not pick out spots you don't like. Just observe.
*Then look yourself in the eyes. Think of your life. What has made you who you are - NOT what has shaped your body. You are you. Every trial, every tear, every smile and laugh has built you into the person you are. We are all a combination of past successes and mistakes. You have good qualities to who you are.
*As you look into your own eyes, acknowledge that every joy, every trial, was necessary to get you to today. Whether other choices could have, should have, been made does not matter. They are in the past. But they were the building blocks necessary for you to be you. Acknowledge it, believe it! This means there is no need to forgive yourself for past mistakes, because they are done, and were necessary to bring you here.
*Once more glance at your body. It is like a map of those past building blocks. Do not think of what you wish to change at this point, just spend a moment accepting and acknowledging you again wouldn't be YOU without this body. It's o.k. that you are the way you are outside, because we are all beautiful on the inside. And your inner beauty was shaped by this body.

Step 2: Acknowledging Your Patterns
*With a piece of paper and a pen/pencil write out what you would eat on your worst day. Again this is not to judge. For me, I'd choose Thanksgiving. Writing down every drink, every snack, every meal.
*On a separate piece of paper, draw a line separating the paper in half. On the first half write down your average day of eating. Again write everything, no one will see it but you, so be honest. On the other half write down all opportunities at burning calories on your average day...average times you walk up the stairs, grocery shopping, exercise, etc.
*Once you have the 3 lists put the papers side by side. Acknowledge where you've come from, where your body has come from. You should be able to see a pattern. Do you tend to eat a lot of snacks? Do you tend to starve then gorge on a single meal? With no judgment acknowledge these past experiences. Say to yourself, "I will give my body the fuel it needs." Believe it whole heartedly, with zero doubt.

Step 3: Joys of Today
*This should be preformed daily.
*Your first thoughts upon waking should be joy that you have another day full of experiences ahead of you. You are one step closer in becoming the You that you've always wanted to be.
*Plan out your day as detailed as you can, acknowledge things will change as we can never plan for every eventuality. Think of each action in a positive light. Think of paying your bills, for instance, not as a stressful management of little funds, but as a way of chipping away at bonds. Even if it is only penny by penny - thats still an improvement.
*Do not think about negativity. Think about the positive. Focusing on getting angry at rush hour traffic serves no purpose except making you feel bad - instead take the time to list the things your thankful for, plan your day step by step, etc.
*Take more time to be thankful and less time harping on things you don't or can't have. If you want to have a piece of chocolate, than work it into your daily plan, increase your caloric burn to accommodate the increase in calories. There is no failure attached to it....it is only food, after all. If you believe you can in a positive way, than you will achieve your goals. Both personal and physical.

Step 4: Planning For The Future
*This along with step one is very difficult as how you accept necessary change, the words you think, will effect the outcome.
*Taking the Food & Exercise lists from step 2.
On a separate sheet of paper you will write down your adjustments, your goals. Be mindful of writing in a positive voice, and Believing it. or instance. Instead of writing: I will not eat junk food; You want to write: I will eat healthier foods. Have no words like NO, NOT, CAN'T, WON'T go through your mind, not enter your plan. Believe and focus on what you WILL do not what you will not do. For instance, I will exercise 3 times a week, instead of I'll try to exercise more. I'll go on a diet also has negative connotations drilled into our subconscious, instead think, I will give my body the food it needs to perform the work I want it to perform.
*Be realistic. When listing your goals, its okay to have an overall goal of 'X' amount of pounds, but it would be better to put it into different terms - I will be a size 8 or I will wear a bikini on my vacation, pounds are not everything. Also, setting yourself up for failure by listing a goal that is not achievable is a common mistake. Once you have determined your overall goal, break it down into manageable parts. This week I will do such-and-such, today I will eat this. That way when you check off your accomplishments as you go along, you further feel positive by accomplishing parts of your goal.

Step 5: Visualization
*Before bed each night you want to take a moment to close your eyes and visualize the You you are striving to become, both physically and mentally.
*Again be positive, and realistic. If your goals are to become a skinny-minny and that is neither healthy not achievable, than you will not succeed. Instead visualize yourself as a happy, healthy person.
*When ever you are tired and don't want to work out, or when you are tempted to cheat on your nutrition plan, take a moment to again pull this picture up in your mind. This will help you stay focused on whats important.

Now you have the tools necessary to make changes in your life, to become a much healthier and happier person. Enacting these steps as you develop your Wellness Plan will help you to achieve and succeed. You CAN do it!!