The Mom-Kit for Zombie Uprisings

I recently saw the saying, "Some people worry that they forgot to turn off the oven. I worry about the zombie uprising." It astounded me how many people that I know for whom a T-shirt like that would be perfect. As a fan of all things that are zombie, I followed that train of thought into the many contingency plans that any true zombie fan would probably have. I found that the top five items that I would want in my survival kit would be pretty standard, but for the non-zombie fans, it might not be quite so obvious. As a mother who works, I would need certain items for whether or not I was caught at work when it happened.

First, a nice automatic or semi-automatic weapon with an unbelievable amount of hollow point bullets is very necessary. According to George Romero films, a bullet to the head will kill the zombie, and so many movies in the genre agree with this. However, any person who has ever shot a gun can tell you that head shots are not the easiest to make, and while the targets are moving slowly (most of the time), they are moving. Therefore, a gun that would allow for that while slowing the horde would be the perfect weapon.

Second, a license to carry a concealed weapon would be extremely handy. If you are away from home, it would be necessary to have a weapon in order to get to your vehicle and find family members without being eaten. Of course, it would not be easy to carry a large weapon and unlimited ammo into just any job, so it would have to be a smaller gun with a full clip and a couple of spare clips, but you do what you can.

Number three, you would want a good aluminum baseball bat for when that gun ran out of ammo. For mothers, the first thing they would need to do is get to their children. Since this can include trips to various schools, preschools, babysitters and day-cares, the mother would need to be able to get through multiple hordes of the undead to reach her kids. As the television announcer said in Shaun of the Dead, "Remove the head, or destroy the brain." A good, solid baseball bat would solve this problem, and a mother in protective mode is a scary adversary.

The fourth necessity would be to have a lot of thick wood and good strong nails lying within easy reach. If you are lucky enough to be at home, or to make it home with the kids, you want to be able to cover all windows and reinforce all doors. This is not easy work, and it would be easier to have a spouse, but if the zombies have eaten him, a mother can do what she has to do.

The fifth necessity would be to have a good assortment of power tools. A nail gun would make it easier to reinforce the weak points in the home, and it would make a handy weapon, if the occasion called for it. Also, It would make going into the crawl space to cut a hole in the roof much more simple if you have a nice electric saw. A hole in the roof would make it easier to set up a sniper nest, and it would be easier to dump a "potty" bucket. Since the water in the toilet tank could end up as a drinking necessity, it would be a great idea to keep it as clean as possible.

Of course, there are other things that would be necessary, such as plenty of containers for drinking water, a fully stocked pantry and plenty of toilet paper, but moms tend to make sure there is a reasonable supply of these things. Paranoid moms are more prepared, but we all like to find a bargain, and bulk tends to satisfy that. However, the most important thing to a mother is to get to her children and make sure they are safe. Now, who says paranoia is not useful?

Sources:
Personal Experience (in shooting, shopping and movie-watching, not zombie uprisings).
George Romero zombie films.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Romero
Shaun of the Dead, 2004.