The More Things Change, the More They Remain the Same

Before I share with you my thoughts as to why you must move on without regrets, allow me to put all my comments--three articles, so far--into perspective. I am not writing from the slippery slope of judgment, but rather from the well-worn path of a fellow-traveler. In other words, Tiger, I've been there, done that, and have the tee-shirt. I was a sex-addict, a self-induced malady that began developing in me by my 9th birthday. I have struggled wth this addiction most of my life, highlighted by infrequent spells of "being clean," aka faithful to one woman, along with frequent relapses of self-centered indulgence. I strove mightily to do what was best for me, but never stayed the course long enough to win. Consequently, I lost a wonderful wife, who struggled with me for more than 20 years, but finally decided that enough was enough. I remain somewhat estranged from our two adult sons because much too late, I learned that the best way to encourage my children to love me was to faithfully and endlessly love their mother. So now at 67, clean now by God's power, I live alone, missing daily the power of shared victories.

Yet, I have no regrets! The verb regret means " . . .to feel sorry, disappointed or distressed about, also to remember with feeling of loss or sorrow; to mourn." The noun regret means ". . .a sense of loss and longing for someone or something gone. A feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wshes could be different." Synonyms include the following words: sorrow, grief, anguish, woe, heartache and heartbreak among other words. "These nouns denote mental distress. Regret has the broadest range, from mere disappointment to a painful sense of dissatisfaction or self-reproach, as over something lost or done . . .Sorrow connotes sadness caused by misfortune, affliction, or loss; it can also imply contrition . . .Grief is deep, acute personal sorrow, as that arising from irreplacable loss . . .Anguish implies agonizing, excruciating mental pain . . . Woe is intense, often prolonged wretchedness or misery . . .Heartbreak is overwhelming grief."

As you can see Tiger, each and everyone of those emotional responses to bad decisions, or a series such as the indulgence of any addiction, percipitate self-destruction. So you see, even as I struggled in the nadir of my loss, my agony and my grief, I still believed that I could not surrender to the addiction. Yes, I had lost almost everything I considered important. Yes, I had hurt at least three individuals I loved then and continue to love. Yes, I was wrong, undeniably wrong. Nevertheless, I had to continue the struggle to conquer this addiction and to reposition myself for service for the following reasons:

My mistakes, however grievious, did not diminish my capacity to serve others

My mistakes, however grievious, did not release me from a responsibility to serve others

My mistakes, however, grievious did not destroy my potential to grow in grace and knowledge

Therefore, I clung to and drew renewed strength from these promises from God:

Psa. 34: 1-4 "I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make its boast in the Lord; the humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together. I sought the Lord and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears."

Isa. 1:16-18 "Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; put away the evil of your doings from before My eyes. Cease to do evil, Learn to do good; Seek justice, Rebuke the oppressor; defend the fatherless, plead for the widow. Come now, and let us reason together, says the Lord, though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool. If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land; but if you refuse and rebel, you shall be devoured by the sword,' for the mouth of the Lord has spoken."

Isa. 43:25 "I, even I am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins."

Jer. 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Col. 1:6 " . . . being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ"

Philip. .2:13-16 " . . .for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless [innocent] children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and pervese generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast th word of life . . ."

Philip. 4:4-8 "Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ."

1Thes. 5:15-24 "See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies. Test all things; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil. Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it."

Tiger, I commend this process to you! Let me walk through each step so you can recognize it as God moves you through it

First God enlivens your dead human spirit, aka you sub-consciousness. (See Rom. 4:17) Next God positions you to hear the Gospel of the Kingdom of God (See Mark 1:14) because it is the power of God unto salvation for everyone who believes. (Rom. 1:16-17).

As the gospel message moves towards you--either audibly or in written from--God, in his unlimited power, attaches to the message the faith necessary to believe the good news of the Kingdom of God. Thus, as the Scriptures say: Faith comes by hearing the Word of God. (See Rom. 10:17).

At the moment of belief, Jesus circumcises the sinful nature. "" , , ,And you are complete in Him who is the head of all principality and power. In Him you were also circumcised with the circumcision made wthout hands, by putting off the body of the sins (aka the carnal nature) of the flesh by the circumcision of Christ." (Col. 2:11).

In the nano-mili-second between the exit of the carnal nature and the coming of the new nature (the Holy Spirit), the body [of sin] dies. (See Col. 3:1-3). Then the Holy Spirit unites with your enlivened human spirit--aka the sub-conscious--the body revives and you are then a new creation, (See 2Cor. 5:17-21).

Thus, the Holy Spirit becomes our resident reviver. God, the Holy Spirit, reveals, cleanses, strengthens and transforms us by renewing our minds. Thus we become eternal winners mentally, physically and most importantly spirtually as day by day, we learn to live by faith.

Faith, a gift of God, becomes our sixth sense and slowly, but certainly, gains control over and mastery of our self-deceiving five senses. Our new nature, aka "Christ in you, the hope of glory, (See Col. 1:27), grows in grace and knowledge as we mature in Him.

Tiger, that's the promised process God offers! You must now decide, as I had to decide. Do you want to wallow in regret or thrive in revival?

It's His calling and your opportunity to surrender. See you at the top!