The Most Accurate Political Poll You Will Ever See

Just in! The most accurate political poll you will ever see. The margin of error is high, but hey, at least we're honest.

4.3% of the people polled said they will vote for Barrack Obama; 4.2% said they will vote for John McCain; 0.1% said they will vote for the Dali Lama; 1.0% said they will vote for an independent candidate, and 0.4% are undecided.

90% of the people we surveyed were not interested in participating. Of that group, 35% of the people we tried to poll said they were "not interested" and hung up; 20% were expecting "an important phone call," got pissed and hung up; 5.0% just hung up without saying a word, and 10% just simply told us to "f**k off!" ...and then hung up.

20% were undecided whether to participate, breathe heavily into the phone, or tell us to f**k off.

Well there you have it! The most accurate political poll you will ever see. Please cast your vote tomorrow and keep America strong.