The Most Important Lesson Learned in February 2007: Either Folks Don't Care or I'm a Horrible Event Planner

Last year, inspired by Oprah Winfrey's "Pay it Forward" show, I decided that I was going to do in a month, what many of the people on her show were doing in just one week. As inspired as I had ever been before, I set out to organize a silent art auction to benefit the Save Darfur Coalition to be held on February 2^nd. I figured since I am an artist I could take my work as well as the work of other insanely talented artists I knew and host a progressive and charitable event for a very deserving cause. Doing my part to fight against the genocide in Sudan.

I should have known it was going to be a bumpy road, when all I was able to secure was $500 from one investor, though three had agreed to assist me. A few of the artists who I knew for sure were in my back pocket, only offered me dry brittle excuses as to why they wouldn't have art to donate. I was disheartened - to say the least.

With or without these dispassionate people, I decided to dig deep into my own pockets and make up for the balance ($1,200). I donated 15 pieces of my own work, secured an artist from Newport Beach, California; and six artists from Michigan. I called upon a musician friend of mine to give a brief show and he graciously agreed to perform, just as he does for almost every event I host. I was so excited, and with that fire under me, I put everything I had into it.

I bought Save Darfur support bracelets to give away to my guests; I bought food and wine; rented a conference room for the Embassy Suites; rented a PA system; printed up postcard flyers; wrote two separate press releases; bought rolls and rolls of postage, put out evites and networked and promoted the event like crazy.

On the day of the event, seven people showed up. These seven, were my regular supporters - those that I can count on no matter what. Thank God for them! I do have to admit though, I was more than a little disappointed. Many of those who confirmed didn't bother to show up and I lost a lot of money. Don't get me wrong, we all made the most of the event. The music, art, and conversations were beautiful, but the ends didn't justify the means.

My exhausted body and brain lay sprawled across the couch that evening, and my mind was working overtime trying to come up with a conclusion of what maybe I should have done. Maybe I should have backed out of the event when my investors did. Maybe I should have donated $500 - $800 to Save Darfur instead of creating this big orchestration that received very little support. Maybe I should have held this event in my apartment.

That night and the next night, I cried for Darfur. I cried for the children who were starving, for the women and girls who were being raped, for the men who were getting mercilessly slaughtered. That night, and the next night, I remembered Rwanda, and I cried for Africa. This weekend was the first time my ten-year-old daughter ever saw me cry. Since the auction, I'm trying very hard to find peace within myself and within this world as I search for hope for our humanity. I wander lost without it.