The Most Rediculous Questions I've Ever Heard

Introduction
After working at the local Community College as security for 3 years and now owning my own retail store, I've come to realize that people ask some really dumb questions. Here is a list of some of the dumbest questions that I can remember. Surprisingly, most of the dumb questions have come from college students, go figure.

1. Are you security?

I was standing in full security uniform. My shirt said Allied Security and I had a radio and keys. I have also been asked this question while sitting behind the security desk with the big security sign.

2. How do I get upstairs?

I swear this is true. I was sitting on the stairs when the person walked up and asked me this.

3. Can you call security for me?

Same scenario as above, I was in full uniform behind the desk.

4. Can you tell me where the bookstore is?

This was asked while we were standing in the campus bookstore.

5. I don't know, what shoe sizes do you have?

The person asked me this after I asked what size they wore.

6. Do you work here? (Yes, I own this.) Can I speak to your supervisor?

LOL, I've had this happen a bunch of times.

7. How do I get to the college campus?

Yep, again in security uniform inside a building on the college campus.

8. (Looks at high heels on the wall.) Are these sizes in men or women?

Women I hope.

9. Do you airbrush?

No, the guy across from us does the airbrush.

10. How much do you charge?

Ma'am, we don't airbrush.

11. How much does he charge?

I'm not sure, you have to ask him.

12. Don't you guys work together?

No, he has his own store across from mine.

***All Time Funniest Questions/Event/Statement Ever***

I was working security at the Community College and it just happened to be the day before my last day. A husband and wife couple walk up to me and my supervisor and this is how this conversation went.

Husband: "Excuse me, there's something wrong with your concrete."
Supervisor: "What do you mean there's something wrong with the concrete?"
Husband: "We just fell outside on your concrete."
Supervisor: "Would you like to feel out an incident report?"
Husband: "No, I just wanted to inform you that there is something wrong with your concrete because we fell."

My supervisor proceeds outside to check the spot where they fell. They all come back in and my supervisor is cracking up.

Husband: "I'm glad you find this funny."
Supervisor: "I'm not laughing at you sir."
Husband: "Someone needs to put up a wet surface sign so people know the ground is wet."
Me: "I don't think they put those signs up when it's raining outside. We assume people know the ground is wet."
Husband: "I'm glad you guys think this is some kind of joke."

Both me and my supervisor are laughing at this point.

Husband (to me): "I want to speak to your supervisor!"
Me (to my supervisor): "This gentleman would like to speak to you."

Supervisor dies laughing again.

Husband: "This is outrageous, what's your badge number."
Supervisor: "I'm not a police officer, I don't have a badge number."
Husband: "Then give me your name."
Supervisor: "Andre"
Husband (to me): "And what's your name?"
Me: "It doesn't matter, tomorrow's my last day."

Husband: "Assholes!!!"

The guy and his wife go storming off through the exit. We actually got the fall on tape and watched it about 10 times. The whole time, the maintenance woman was there cracking up, which probably made the situation worse.

That's about all I can think of for now, but there will be more to come.