The NEW Mother Goose

What began as a peaceful demonstration protesting the construction of the New Mother Goose stories deteriorated into violence and mayhem yesterday while two polarized groups sought to end or begin the New Mother Goose Story controversy! This controversy has been raging on the East Coast at small group gathering, various progressive book clubs, and with mommy war opinion columnists. It now seems to be moving into the heartland of the country and has become a burning source of contention among the older, married women of the country, sometimes known as Security Moms.

One year ago, Myrtha Rice announced the coming of a New Mother Goose. All of the old stories would be destroyed, especially Jack Be Nimble, Jack Be Quick, Jack Jump over a Candlestick, which she stated was the most violent story of all. Rice stated that there would be new stories written by her and a staff of like-minded editors and then publicized as the New Mother Goose stories. Stories from the Old Mother Goose would be destroyed and outlawed. No other publishing house or self-published, for that matter would be allowed to distribute the old stories and any older mother, or grandmother found telling one of these stories would be jailed and tortured for an undisclosed amount of time.

This announcement was met with protests from all factions, especially those who had grown up with these stories and didn't want to have to learn new ones and also didn't think it was Rice's business to tell them what stories to tell.

Today, several protestors from both sides arrived at the destruction area where all of the books were to be burned and one person (a grandmother, known as Beulah) was to be burned at the stake! A man in a costume dressed as Mother Goose used his protest sign to knock down one of the editors and a violent riot erupted. The streets were filled with old books and protest signs after the chaos ended.

Rice had not attended the protest but said as she sat in her luxury penthouse, petting her Siamese cat-that these things always happen when transitions take place and she was sure that eventually everything would calm down and she would get her own way.