The Mother's Center of Suffolk

The philosophy of the Mother's Center of Suffolk is "mothers helping mothers", and in turn their children also benefit. The group meets in Setauket at the Setauket Presbyterian Church. By becoming a member of the Mother's Center of Suffolk, women learn that being a Mom, especially a stay-at-home-mom has a great deal of value in a society that seems to value working mother more.

"It's a place to meet other mothers where you can reaffirm your role as a mother," said Laura Bevenuto co-president of the Mothers Center of Suffolk.

Mothers can always find other mothers who are experiencing the same problems with their children. Most of the children whose mothers are members if the Mothers Center of Suffolk are between the ages of nine month and five years old. At around the age of two, children begin to gain personal strength and a feeling of separateness and autonomy from their mothers. The experience of discovering the solitary self can be a frightening to a young child, but it is also very important. When mothers take advantage of the childcare offered at the Mothers Center of Suffolk, their children gain social and cognitive skills and they gain a few moments of peace and quiet. The childcare workers at the Mothers Center of Suffolk are all experienced in their field and are trained in infant CPR, so the children are in good hands.

She added that the Mothers Center of Suffolk belongs to the National Mothers Association and stands out from similar organizations because of the variety of classes they offer. This year, in addition to the Mommy and me classes, that include a yoga class, and a new Mom's group where many issues are discussed, including sleep problems and bottle-feeding versus breast feeding. Facilitators who are trained under the supervision of a social worker lead discussion groups.

"Facilitators make sure that the discussion flows and that all opinions are allowed without judgment - whether members agree with each other or not," Danielle Cajigas said.

The center asks that their members have empathy for each other as women, who are confronted with the development of their children. In the past, families lived near each other and the extended family provided childcare for those who needed it. The Mothers Center of Suffolk not only benefits mothers and children, but the community as a whole.

"Years ago everyone lived near each other, but that is no longer true," said Kelly Doerge, co-president of the Mother's Center of Suffolk.

They are also trying to target a new group; mothers and children with special needs like autism and ADHD and to help with this, a lecture will soon be given to educate women on mothering a child with special problems. There are also social events for the mothers like a Mom's night and a cookie exchange that will be coming up soon.

"Sometimes we have a couples night out which is nice because we get to meet each other," Benvenuto said.

Like a lot of women who are new mothers, Benvenuto had to make a decision about whether or not to go back to work or become a stay-at-home-mom and the decision was not an easy one for her to make. For her, and other women who are members of the Mothers Center of Suffolk having the support of other women in the same situation has been important.

"I've met other mothers who are dealing with the same issues and that's helped me a lot," Laura Bevenuto said.

Kelly Doegre's twenty-month-old daughter has benefited from being a part of the Mother's Center of Suffolk and does not suffer from separation anxiety, which the majority of children her age do. She has learned a lot from the other children, and Kelly feels that she is ready for pre-school, which many children aren't ready for until they are three.

"Children get to socialize in a safe environment. It's also a good way for new Moms to get out of the house and talk about the experience of being a new mother," said Kelly Doerge.

Laura Benvenuto has also been applying for grants in order to get some help with the expenses at the Mother's Center of Suffolk. She feels that there may be some people who cannot afford the $45 yearly dues and does not want this to deter them from joining the center. In addition she feels that a grant would be a good way to help fund some scholarships.

"I sent out 15 letters, including to elected officials outlining our organization," Benvenuto said.

County Executive Steve Levy and Senator Hillary Clinton D-NY were among those she wrote to and she received positive responses from both. Levy seemed especially interested.

Benvenuto would also like to see more diversity at the Mother's Center of Suffolk and to achieve that goal they are reaching out to families in need. They are running a book drive for underprivileged children, collecting money for the Heifer organization, http://www.heifer.org/ and plan a trip to the Ronald McDonald house next year. Also the group makes a handmade quilt each cycle and donates it to a deserving organization; the first one went to the Breast Cancer Foundation and the next one will be donated to the Little Angel Foundation.

The first week of classes at the Mothers Center of Suffolk begin on November 27, but you are welcome to join at any time. Their office hours are from 9:30 to 12:00 Monday to Thursday and their phone number is 689 2827.