The Mouseman and Me

There was a time when I was employed installing satellite dishes. Now these were not the tiny little dishes you see today. They were also not the gigantic dishes of years ago. These were primestar dishes..about a yard across and oval shaped. But..they required a load of work to install.

You had to find the right spot on the property first. Dig a hole about a foot wide and two feet deep using post hole diggers. Place a 2 inch steel pipe in that hole..and then drive it in two more feet with a sledge hammer. Then pour in quick setting concrete. And THEN you could place the dish and run your cable...and sometimes that could be a nightmare too. On occasion you would find that the dish was on one side of the house, the television was on the other side and the telephone box was on yet a third side of the house..and finally, the house grounding wire...was on yet another side of the house..and you needed ALL of them to complete the job. And if the customer had more than one tv..and they almost always do, you had to run multiple cables, install multiple decoder boxes and..well..you get the picture.

On this particular day I came in to the warehouse and pulled todays work order from my inbox. It was a single decoder box install ( hooray ) and the home was only about 35 miles away. I collected the needed equipment from stores. A decoder box,a pole,a dish and mounting hardware,a bag of concrete,various cable fittings and I was ready.

In this business, I had learned to not take anything for granted, especially finding the home you would be working from. So I wanted to call ahead and determine if they would be home..and confirm directions. The phone rang a couple of times before being picked up and a voice said "Hewoh"?
"Good morning, I am calling from Primestar and I will be coming out to your home this morning to install your new dish system. Can you give me directions to your home please"?

"Oh wow"! The voice said excitedly. "Yeah, Wit diwection will you be Coming fwom"?

I told him and he replied, " OK, when you get to the cornuh of Cwanbewwy and Wobuts dwive, tuhn weft and we ah the fust house on the weft"

I stared off into space for a moment translating these directions into the King's english...repeated them back to him, and receiving confirmation, I hung up and began the drive over to Cwanbewwy and Wobuts.

I actually found the house with no trouble for once and parking the truck I got out and immediately set about getting things ready. I assembled the hardware for the dish, got the concrete and tools all ready. And it was at this time I noticed a heavy set young man standing on the porch watching me. I waved at him and he shouted to me, "Well..ah see you fownd us."

At the moment a rather beat up looking van pulled in behind me and parked. A little man got out and grinned a toothless smile at me. He was about 5 feet tall, gray hair about 60 years old and the biggest hearing aid projecting from his head I have ever seen. He stood hunched over with his arms held in front of him..and he reminded me of a mouse holding a peanut. "Well, ah see you fownd us." he said. I was astounded. TWO of them...that speak the same way?

Mouseman was very interested in all that goes on with the installation of a dish. I didn't tell him but I was delighted that for once, the dish was going in at a house trailor. Mobile homes are duck soup for this kind of work. I planted the pipe and while waiting for the concrete to set up Mouseman and I ran the cable to the tv,the grounding wire and the required telephone connection.
Once the concrete was set it was time to pop on the dish and aim it. This required pointing the dish at the correct compass direction and adjusting the elevation while reading a volt meter for maximum signal.

It was now time to go inside and hook everything up and get the system activated. Mouseman preceded me through the door and sitting there in the living room was the same young man I had seen earlier. "well, have any twouble"? he asked. Mouseman answered and said,"No twouble at awl".

The inside hook up is usually easy. You attach the cables from the dish to the decoder box, a cable from the box to the tv and connect the box to the telephone line. Then, you call headquarters and have them activate the box.

I was in the process of attaching all the cables when yet a third family member rolled into the room. She was an older woman and she was in a wheel chair. She looked from me to Mouseman and then I assumed,her son. She spoke to Mouseman, Well, have any twouble"? This time I was able to keep working as I discovered that I was in a home where all the inhabitants had the same speech impairment. Both Mouseman and the son replies at the same time, "No twouble at awl." If all of this wasnt distraction enough, the woman had a very unusual voice. Imagine Gilbert Gottfried at full volume.

Shifting her chair to face me, she smiled and said, " Hello, thank you for arriving so quickly and installing our dish for us." I was stunned. Gilbert was gone. Her voice was pleasant, and her speech perfectly clear. The young man added, "Yes, we had only called in 3 days ago, you got here fast." I was double stunned ! He could speak clearly as well.

The next few minutes were spent with me behind the tv and then on the phone arranging activation. Gilbert, Mouseman and the son were in a conversation between themselves discussing what they would like to watch that night. Gilbert was switching effortlessly between her Gilbert voice when speaking to Mousman and her normal voice when speaking to the son. The son, when speaking to Mouseman would affect the speech impediment I had witnessed earlier. And Mouseman, would always watch anyone speaking to him very closely, no doubt partially lip reading.

It was all very clear now what was going on. Gilbert had to pitch her voice so Mouseman could hear her more easily. The son had learned to speak as a child by listening to Gilbert speak to Mouseman, and Mouseman..due to his hearing disability, had never been able to speak clearly anyway.And as the son had grown older, he had learned to speak clearly to anyone not of the family.

So here I was, arranging for this family to watch and listen to tv signals arriving from over 22,000 miles away from a satellite in geo synchronis orbit while Gilbert Gottfried and the Mouseman decided on what sitcom would be on tv tonight.

I finished up and was preparing to leave and Mouseman had to go with me and move his van so I could get out. He waved at me as I drove away, that humongous hearing aid projecting from the side of his head wobbling a bit. All in all, it had been an interesting experience and I came away feeling pleased to have been a part of their life for a short while. People can certainly adapt to adversity in amazing ways.