The Myth of the Nuclear Family

The nuclear families of 1950's television shows did not show the true effects of that ideal on society. The recent movie, The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, more accurately illustrates the problems of gender inequality that arose from that model and the problems that plagued the women of the times.

The nuclear family consists of a working father, a full-time homemaker mother, and dependant children. It started during industrialization as a more efficient family style for the new demands of industrial life. The television show "Leave it to Beaver" portrays 1950's version of this family ideal. This television family is affluent and lives in a nice, suburban neighborhood and their children, despite a few mistakes, are nice young men and women of whom any parent would be proud. The wife in this show is a homemaker and is obedient to her husbands. The family is separate from the extended family as social workers of the time "looked suspiciously on active extended family networks" (Coontz 26). The opinion of the time was that parents should have sole authority over their children rather than sharing that authority with grandparents. Families were expected to strike out on their own, "away from the close scrutiny of the elder generation" (Coontz 26). This meant that young families had the added stress of dealing with their problems within their family rather than being able to seek the support of their extended families. This lack of extend family ties meant that men were expected to be more involved with their families. For the first time, men "were encouraged to root their identity and self-image in familial and parental roles" (Coontz 27). A man's career was not his social identity as it had been in past generations. Men were now expected to take time to be with their families. The "lack of a suitable wife could mean the loss of a job or promotion for a middle-class man" because of this women's etiquette books of the time explain exactly what to do when meeting their husband's boss (Coontz 32). The television shows reflected this idea, in "Leave It to Beaver" while it is clear that the husband has a job it is never known what that job is. Many people believe that these 1950's television shows represent what the families of the time were like, but they actually represent what families should try to be. In reality, "fewer than 10 percent of American families met the 'It to Beaver'" (Coontz 23). Shows such as these have perpetuated a myth that nuclear families are the ideal family type and a goal that all families should strive for.

In modern movies, these nuclear families are anything but perfect and happy. In The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, the stay-at-home mother, Vivian, is an alcoholic, driven to drinking because she was forced into the role of homemaker when she had wanted to have a career in the city. She married a man she did not love and has children because this was the expectation of the time. She suffers from depression and alcoholism because she is overwhelmed with the responsibility of being the perfect mother and wife. This was a more typical fifties wife than the one portrayed in "Leave It to Beaver". Drug and alcohol abuse were common among women. "Tranquilizers were developed in the 1950s in response to a need that physicians explicitly saw as female" (Coontz 36).[1] The problems caused in the children because of their parents' problems were far greater than they would have been if there had been a larger social support network such as extended family. In The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, the emotional damage and fears of commitment seen in the daughter Sidda, are a result of her mother, Vivian's, depression and alcoholism. While Vivian has several close friends none of them helped raise the children because "of the belief that you don't mess with other people's kids" (Divine). In the end, the conflict between mother and daughter is resolved only when these friends step into the situation and help. While this doesn't solve Vivian's alcoholism it does illustrate how help given by social support networks improves family life despite the problems of the individuals. Women were expected to put the needs of their family before their own. In the 1947 book, The Modern Woman: The Lost Sex, "the notion of an independent woman is called a 'contradiction in terms'" (Coontz 32). Married woman's employment was considered a menace and a disease. The inherent gender inequality and the belief that families should support themselves without the help of an outside social network created dysfunctional families.

The nuclear family model goes against the saying "it takes a village to raise a child" and puts all the responsibility on the parents, ignoring the importance of a larger support network. "The notion that parental love and dedication should be the exclusive source of children's material well-being and emotional health creates a very fragile security" (Coontz 230). This notion adds greatly to the stress of the parents who feels responsible for making sure that their child has every possible advantage. There is research that "demonstrates that the crucial difference between functional and dysfunctional families lies... in the quality of the support networks outside the family" (Coontz 230). Even in cases where children are at high risk for emotional damage "the intervention of just one caring person from outside the nuclear family, not necessarily a relative, can put a child on the path to success" (Coontz 230). Outside intervention is a major factor in helping the children grow into functional adults despite the problems that existed in their nuclear family.

The nuclear family ideal remains a popular image of family life even though it was unachievable for many. Moreover, it ignores that "good childrearing has always required more than one parent" by insisting on a small efficient unit (Coontz 230). The lesson to be learned from all of this is that parents, while a strong influence on their children, are not the sole influence or even the most important influence. Social supports from outside the family play a major part the functionality of the family and the emotional well-being of the children.

Coontz, Stephanie. The Way We Never Were. 1992. New York, NY, 2000.

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Dir. Callie Khouri. Perf. Sandra Bullock and Ellen Burstyn. Warner Bros. and Gaylord Films LLC, 2002.

[1] Virtually nonexistent in 1955 tranquilizer consumption reach 462,000 pounds in 1958 (Coontz 36).