The Necessity of Friendship

We sometimes associate friendship with children or our childhood, but good friendships in our adult lives are also important.For children friendship is a very essential part of their lives. In their growth to the teen ages and then young adult, the friends they have will play significant roles in this process. Their behavior, for one thing, will be shaped by their peers or friends influence. As such, all parents and guardians, without any exceptions, will want to ensure that their kids have good positive friends that will enhance their development.

Hence, there are some essential characteristics to know and which constitutes a good friendship or just a bad influence.

From our own experience, we can sometimes identify when some kids are bad influence on our children. But they are some specific features to take note of and remember within this context:

Those who can be considered "unacceptable" influence on our kids often demonstrate the following:

They will, arrogantly at times, seek to abuse and use our children.

They will impress upon innocent children, poor choices and will often promote wrong examples.

Bad influence children are prone to poor values in life, such as smoking, illicit drugs use, and early sexual intercourse, among others.

Power and control are other poor features of a bad friendship by someone who is your child friend. Within this context, jealously is another matter to take note of as it can be dangerous and controlling.

There good criticisms and constructive criticisms, but being too critical can be harmful to kids when they come from another child or from children as peers.

Lies are dangerous especially when kids hang-out with the wrong children who may commit crimes or wrongs against another, then blame (lie) about it causing harm to the innocent friend.

There is also the matter of being proud. Children from different economic, cultural and social backgrounds will often have this problem - the rich proud friend, for example, may demonstrate the kind of pride that is not helpful to the friend from an incompatible background.

There are many other unfriendly characteristics that parents and guardians can add to the above. But all are important as they seek to guide and protect their children.

We also know from our own life experience as adults that, good friends in friendship will demonstrate the following acceptable qualities:

Respect, good manners, encouragement (not too much destructive criticisms) show similar interest, demonstrate friendly and consist support, and such alike.

Knowing the difference between the above will assist parents as they seek to achieve the best of good friendship and influence for their kids.

Parents must know how essential it is to constantly talk to their children and be good friends as well as good parents/guardians to them. To constantly check-up on your kids and ask them the right questions, are important monitoring techniques parents can easily apply. Essential friendship monitoring questions are necessary in this respect. These include asking your children (about their friends):

Whether their friends make them feel comfortable, safe and very good about themselves and the friendship that they have.

If their friends are being disrespectful about them behind their backs and to other peer group members.

Are they feeling too anxious and uncomfortable about saying and doing some things that they are being asked to do by their friends.

Whether they are doing just too much to make the friendship work.

The questions above will certainly assist parents/guardians with helping their kids determine if they have a good friendship that is uplifting and is a positive influence in their lives. The quality of friendship is the essential to keep in mind since two really great friends are much better than 15 or more friends that are just abusive, rude and demanding.

So while having friends is a necessity of life, good friends are really what make life better. They will have a positive and uplifting influence on the development and life of our children. Parents and guardians need to know the characteristics to look-out for and the kind of questions to ask in helping their children make the best friendship decisions. And they must never forget to seek family or professional help if they discover that they need assistance in the best interest of the children and good parenting.

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