THE NEXT TEN YEARS

Why is it the only time your kids leave you alone is when you cut the grass, wash the car, fold clothes or wash the dishes?

With the first sign of the sweeper, or laundry detergent they disappear into their rooms for hours.

Now if I were talking on the phone and not necessarily wanting to include them in the conversation, they remain in the same room with me and try to carry on a conversation that ranges anywhere from what's for dinner to what Vickie Pryor wore to school that day.

If I decide to read a book, they have several projects they forgot to tell me about. Like baking six dozen cookies for school tomorrow, and by the way, it is 8:45 pm the night before and we are out of eggs.

My favorite thing is when I decide to take a nap. About once every six months I lose my mind and try to take a nap. The second I close my other eye they declare war and stake out the demilitarized zone. In my mind I roll off the sofa and tie each of them to a chair, and wait for the next bomb to drop.

There is usually a loud sound upstairs which resembles the Ohio State marching band during "Script Ohio."

If the book I'm trying to read right now is correct, then I understand the next 10 years are the ones I'll enjoy the most!