The NFL Should Change it's Name to the IFL - Incarceration Football League

The new football season is only a few short weeks away and already a number of high profile players have been suspended by the league for committing crimes or being somehow involved in criminal activity. I am constantly amazed at the stupidity of these guys, throwing away millions of dollars in salary and endorsements just so they can live the gangsta lifestyle. But in every cloud I see a silver lining so here is what I propose.

The IFL - Incarceration Football League.
If all these guys are going to be in jail then I think it's time we started a pro jail league not unlike the kind we saw in "The Longest Yard", and "The Gridiron Gang". Both of those movies were pretty successful which tells me the American public is starving for this type of thing.

It would be the exact same rules as the NFL and ESPN could start a new channel devoted entirely to the sport. The MVP of the league would receive time served for good behavior as well as a conjugal visit from one of his mistresses. There is a great opportunity for advertisers and sponsors to get involved. The players who are in for weapons crimes could be sponsored by the NRA, drug users and abusers would be the poster boys for the Colombian Tourist Board, and Michael Vick could have a very lucrative deal from Petsmart.

The opportunities here are endless. There could be a draft every year as more and more of these dudes seem to be heading down this troubled path and repeat offenders would be treated as free agents, a very high commodity on the free market. The all-star game would pit the pro athletes against a celebrity squad....wouldn't you just love to see Ray Lewis take down Paris Hilton as she carried the football up the middle. I get chills just thinking about it.

There could be a nationwide fantasy league with participants gaining points for their players, gaining yards, scoring touchdowns, making interceptions and all the other usual way to score but they could also get points for good behavior and number of license plates made in a given week.

What about an incarceration hall of fame? Three strikes gains you automatic entry as does serving more than 5 years in all your sentences combined.

The sad thing is that there are probably enough ex players and current staffers on their way to jail to actually make up a couple of different teams and if the whole BALCO thing blows up as it's looking like it might then we may have a pro baseball jail league as well. I can't say that I feel sorry for any of these guys as they were living the life that almost all of us can only dream about and chose to throw it away.