The Obituary Observer: Simon Cowell was the Lifeblood of the Late American Idol

IN TODAY'S HEADLINE: American Idol has been laid to rest after 9 long years due to a fatal hemorrhage suffered by the loss of Simon Cowell.

"It was such a sad thing to see" said one of the raving fans. "American Idol had tremendous potential to grow and flourish into a fully grown member of society, but it is just so hard to recover from such an untimely and severe wound. If I were honest with myself, I do know how many people could make it after an incident like that."

After running strong for 9 years, American Idol suffered a fatal injury due to a severe hemorrhage in the brain. As Simon Cowell left the body, American Idol slowly slipped away. After much treatment in the hospital and many unsuccessful blood transfusions, American Idol passed away at 9:37 a.m. this morning.

When asked about the tragic event, Dr. Michael S. Vayer, head of the ER center at Life Memorial Hospital, asserted: "We tried everything that we could think of. When we first received the report, we prepared as best we could. We called many blood banks to find suitable matches, but the Simon Cowell blood type is extremely rare. We tried giving transfusions with other rare blood types, such as Elton John, Harry Connick Jr. and Perez Hilton, but none of the transfusions were successful. It is a tragic event that has affected so many people. I hate that American Idol had to go out in this way."

The official time of death was set at 9:37 a.m. this morning. The official autopsy report has yet to be completed, but it is speculated among other things that the lack of resiliency and pressure from outside clientele caused the sudden hemorrhage. A press release was made shortly thereafter followed by a massive uproar from people all over the globe.

"I just hope that someone can come along to replace American Idol soon" says Jana Harborough, an avid fan and supporter. "Americans (and myself included) crave all things about reality and 'the real life'. Who knows - maybe someone else will fill those shoes, but those shoes are mighty big ones to fill."