The Oldest New Kid

I moved from my childhood home about twenty years ago, but I am still not from here. Here is the place that I graduated high school from, met my husband and where I had my children, and where I own a home. But, I am still not from here. After moving, at what point do you become a local? I am still waiting to find out.

Moving from one place to another is very life altering when you are still "growing up". When you get to the new place, everything is different. The air smell not as crisp as it did, and the sun shines but rarely as bold. New, house, friends, streets, teachers, it was all overwhelming. When I found out I was moving, I couldn't get the thought out of my head that "other kids move away". I didn't want to be "that" kid. I wanted the same house, the same bus driver, the same phone number. Clearly fighting in a no win situation, I became that kid. The "new" kid. I sometimes wonder if it was the label that was self enforced, that held me back from finding that new home, that feeling of being from here.

I started a new school year just a month after moving. Ya, what a great and alone summer. I see my daughter interacting with her friends and I flash back to that first school year and question if I gave my "new" friends the one hundred percent that I see her giving. Connections we form at an early age are the foundations for the ones we will make in our adult life. When your a young teenager, relocating during this phase can negatively influence new relationships. Before moving, I was still "getting my feet wet", discovering what kind of people I wanted and needed in my life. When you are in school and you make a best friend, and one day that security is stripped from you, you become someone else.

Irregardless if it was the change in location, or friends, or just simple stubbornness, I am and always will not be from here. I look to see if my old house is for sale. I think that returning to it, even for a visit, will refresh my memories. Memories of what is old that I will always carry with me, while being the oldest "new" kid on the block.