The Origin of Obama

Everyone loves an origin story. Spiderman, The Hulk etc., comic books and superhero movies are famous for them. Here's another one:

David Plouffe is being the best political campaign manager EVER and the proof is that Obama is able to take a huge daily dump in the White House bathroom. While Obama is pulling out his $800 Million stimulus package and rubbing it all over Speaker Nancy Pelosi's upper lip, you may be wondering when did all these shenanigans start? We at RUFKM have obtained a recording from the night David gave birth to Barack. Here's the transcript:

David Plouffe: We are here to discuss who the Democratic party should endorse for the next presidential race. We need this candidate to not only win, but to represent how badly Bush has screwed up and show that ANYONE can beat the Republican party. Let's brainstorm and come up with the most outlandish nominee ever. Just start shouting out ideas.

Random Democrat: How about Verne Troyer and Warwick Davis?

DP: Who...and who?

RD: Mini-Me from the Austin Power movies and the guy who was in the Ewok costume and also played an evil leprechaun.

DP: They need more political experience. In addition, get a hobby. You seem like a guy that dresses his dog up on Halloween.

RD: Bozo the clown and Charles Manson!

DP: The idea is taken. They are already running on an independent ticket from some

group called "Are You F---ing Kidding Me?" Next!

RD: How about a woman! I know a former beauty pageant runner-up who can snowmobile, talks like every character in the movie Fargo, and can kill an elk from 100 yards with a butter knife.

DP: Terrible idea. But I will recommend it to the Republicans.

RD: You're right. On second thought that sounds awful.

How about Hillary Clinton instead?

DP: That woman is insane. Genius. But try harder.

RD: I can beat that. How about a dude that looks like Tiger Wood's cousin?

DP: Ludicrous! But that in and of itself does not sound that crazy.

RD: What if his middle name was Hussein, he bowls every Wednesday with known terrorists, his preacher is an escaped mental patient, and his greatest accomplishment thus far is showing up to work on time and checking off Yes or No on amendments? How does that sound?

DP: Now we're getting somewhere. Do you know such a man?

RD: I do. He just became a senator in Illinois. Barack Hussein Obama.

DP: Are You F---ing Kidding Me? Spectacular. How is he as a public speaker?

RD: Incredible.

DP: It is done. Let's get the celebrity endorsement of that jack-ass Matt Damon, Oprah, David Hasselhoff, the Olsen twins, Howie Mandel, and those midgets you mentioned earlier. Can we do this? Yes - We - Can! I like that phrase. Jerry, go print out 60 million buttons with that slogan and book Grant Park for November 2008. Oh, and get MichaelBay to direct the infomercial. Meeting adjourned.