THE OTHER MAN

I am the happiest I could ever be or have ever been in my current married situation. I am one of the fortunate ones who have actually found the one perfect mate for me. I have found the one woman God placed here on earth for me and I could not be happier. She also believes she has found the one perfect man for her. We thank our Lord almost every day for his goodness and generosity in finally allowing us to come across one another. When we first met however, I was the other man.

When I first met my current wife I was deeply married. I had been married for 17 years. I had two children, a new home, a solid 9 to 5 and a great dog. I had arrived I thought. My wife and I had many problems; she wanted and was taking her independence. She did what she wanted, when she wanted to do and with whomever she wanted to do it with. I complained, she said too badly and I withdrew.

It was important enough to me, to keep and enjoy this "American Dream" of a life, that I figured I could endure the pain and agony of never knowing. I had all the material things I needed, a great income and two wonderful children. I replaced any emotional needs I wasn't getting satisfied by my wife, with the companionship of my kids. I admitted to myself one day that "It could be worse."

One of my wife's sidelines was getting on the computer, finding any available man and talking all sorts of sexual anything with him. Skipping all the details lets just say their conversations led to telephone calls, gifts, mail and so on. She continuously tried to convince me there is nothing wrong with what she was doing because it was all fantasy.

To cut a long story short, in response to my pleas for her to stop, she told me to get on the computer and ask someone to help me with my "problem." She left, I got on the computer, spilled my guts about what was gong on, heard all sorts of nasty reprimands, until one lonely voice came from underneath all the balloons popping up on my screen.

"I know what you are going through." Was all it said. Then another one; "I have the same problem." Just before she signed off we exchanged names and the rest is history. It seems at the same time I was sending my plea out into the nether world of the fledgling computer land, her man was telling her "Hey, come here, you gotta talk to this guy." Well, she did, I listened, she listened, and here we are.

Our relationship started as a long distance one; I was on one side of the state and she was on the other side. I made frequent visits to her part of the state so after about three months of talking on the computer we made plans to meet. Once we met, we knew we were meant for each other. We spent the entire evening talking, sharing, thinking, planning and just having a wonderful evening.

Eventually she had to go home. I followed her in my car and pulled up in front of her townhouse. I could see "his" shadow in front of the window. I wanted to be available in case he started any thing. He was so disinterested he paid her no mind. She put the flowers I had gotten her on the table and still he didn't bother. I was the other man but it seems he had already left her side.

After a couple of weeks both my wife and her man (they weren't married), realized something was going on here; something a little more important than what they did when they got on the computer. See, he was also one of the rabid, cyber, sexual predators. In fact, he and my wife had gotten together several times for a little cyber romp.

Once they both realized what was going on is when "the other man" role got difficult. My wife poured it on about why we should stay together. She held her ground on the computer though. She insisted she be allowed to continue with her sexual trysts. At the same time, the guy on the other side of the state was trying his best to convince the woman I had just met that he could change and that I would never leave my wife for her.

In order to be an effective "other man" you really have to be dedicated and intent on your objective. My mind had been made up, I was going to have her and we were going to live happily ever after. I never met her man, face to face, and she never met my wife but we knew them both intimately. We were both just so relieved to have each other to go to during this most trying time.

Whatever I endured or experienced in my quest to win that woman over pales when compared to the benefits I enjoy day after day. The other man can be a good thing, especially when a true relationship waits in the background. Too many "other men" end up being some guy wanting nothing more than a quick affair though. My experience as the other man was a positive one for me and I would do it again, and again, and again, for the prize I walked away with.