The Other Side of Love

Love is a scary and powerful emotion. It has the ability to bring you immense highs and devastating lows and the wild ride of the ups and downs in between. It's an awesome thing but what happens when you are totally in love with someone and that loves isn't returned? I can tell you from first-hand experience that it is one of the most hurtful experiences a person can go through. I'm currently going through this and this feeling sucks.

When you first meet that someone, you go through stages. Rarely does the "love at first sight" event occur but that too, can happen. So, you meet that person and you see you have things in common. He/she treats you well and you like spending time with them. This feeling of like soon evolves into love and pretty soon, you spend every available minute thinking of them. You want to learn all you can about them and do everything in your power to make them happy. You want to be around them all the time and when you're not able to, you miss them badly. You think of the little (and sometimes big) ways to change so you two would be better suited. Basically, you want to give your all and all you ask for in return, is that they love you too. Sometimes it's so simple and innocent. You don't want money, fame or power. You just want those feelings to be mutual and most likely, you'd give anything to make it happen. If you're lucky enough, that other person will love you just as much, if not more but when that love is not returned, you feel lost and like you'll never get over it.

Psychologist say that you have to learn to love yourself first before someone else can love you. They sometimes call it co-dependence and want to explore your past issues to get to the root of your current one. I believe that this isn't necessarily true. I love myself, dearly. If you would ask anyone I know, they'll tell you I love myself too much. In the scheme of things, I put God first and myself second. I have always had healthy self-esteem. Don't get me wrong, I do have some issues but that is not the reason for me feeling the way I do. The fact of the matter is, I fell in love and I wanted to make a family with this person. I honestly thought that sex was not even a that big a deal and that my love was strong enough to withstand any adversity. I just asked for the same. Honesty, respect, appreciation and love. When he didn't show signs, I made excuses and prayed he would. I asked God to change his heart. I would be overjoyed by the small things that he did do and would count it as a sign he was changing. I thought that if he wasn't capable of showing love, I could teach him and was willing to until my eyes were opened. A friend had to finally sit me down and tell me, he wasn't the one. She explained to me that I was a child of God and deserved a man who would treat me like such. She said that I needed a man who had Christ in the center of his life and would look at me as a gift sent from the Lord. I took this all in and for the first time, I knew she was right. I didn't want her to be but she was.

I'm devastated and sad but a small part of me feels hopeful because I know God does love me and has plans for me that I can't even imagine. I know He will send me the one I'm meant to be with and I will love him so much and he will love me just the same. So, to anyone who feels as though they can't go on and don't want to, know that heartache is hard and it takes some time but we don't cry for long. When one door closes, God opens another door and a window. I'm crying and staring at his picture but I know I'm strong enough to get past this and I will. My heart goes out to anyone who reads this and is going through the same thing. Love sucks when it's wrong but it's so good when it's right.