The Other Woman

I decided to tell my story, to hopefully influence others no to take the path I chose. It is a roller coaster ride with sharp turns and terrifying loops. Growing up we always say we want to be teachers or doctors but as teenage girls we never envision ourselves as growing up to be the "other woman" in some mans life. I was the other woman for nine months, it began at a time in my life where I felt unwanted, unloved and undesirable. In walks the man of my dreams and he sweeps me away. He made me feel like a woman again, not a wife or a mother, a beautiful woman. Honestly I didn't hesitate to get involved with this man, knowing that he had a wife at home and I had a husband to go home to didn't stop me. Yes, I felt guilt but the good feelings outweighed the bad ten to one. I wanted to feel the sparks again, that giddy feeling in the pit of your stomach, even the tingle in the toes when you get those special kissess. In my messed up mind it was all worth it just to get that stuff back.

His wife was just a person I had never met, thats how I justified it anyway. She didn't give him what he needed so he came to me. Looking back I was used, but at the time I didn't feel like it. At the time I felt special, I felt like I was giving him something he needed and he wanted me. Now that the fog has lifted I see that I was just someone to fill a void in his life and I have paid the price for that. I have lost alot in this, the feeling like your walking around with the scarlet A on your chest is the worst thing a person can feel. He broke my heart like no other has ever done and even three months after the affair it still hurts more than anyone can imagine. I think what hurts me the most is that he always told me he was upfront and honest yet, when it came right down to it he couldn't even look me in the face and tell me it was over. He ran from me, a grown man whom I thought the world of tucked tail and ran to get away from me. I guess he wasn't the man I thought he was. We all have our faults and we all make mistakes, I guess as long as we learn from them it can be considered a learning experience. I am here to say that this experience is enough to last a lifetime and more. If you have ever considered having an affair learn from me and don't do it. The pain is unbearable and the aftermath is something that doesn't go away for a long time.

When your in the affair you are wearing the rose colored glasses, looking through the fog at a world that doesn't exist. You only see what you want to see and the consequences don't seem to be a threat until the day it all comes to light and your world is shattered. In my case it ended with an email from his wife letting me know what a horrible person I was. Yes, I was a horrible person to do this to another woman and I realize that now. I guess in my case I wanted something from someone, just someone to hold me and make me feel that I was wanted. Yes, I was wanted until she found out then I was tossed under the bus like a piece of trash and I was left alone to pick up the pieces. So please listen if you've ever considered an affair, look at your current relationship and try to fix it first. There is no greater pain than this kind of pain.