The Over-Exuberant Chef

"Step right up!" The man in the red floppy hat shouted exuberantly. I tentatively offered my plate and eyed the pasta with some suspicion. There were grapes in it. "There you go, have a taste of that," the chef continued, piling on more and more of the pasta without consent. Without breathing, he went on, "You see, the flavor in this dish consists of three parts: the sauce, which is based in white wine, to add sweetness, and pine nuts, to add a rich, crunchy, roasted flavor. Then when you eat it, you got all these three different flavors competing, so it's a real experience." I had a brief mental image of two pine cones wrestling for control of a wine glass.

The pasta was actually quite good, despite the grapes and pine nuts, which it turns out are not the same thing as pine cones, thank God. I got up from the table to go get some more of this bizarre pasta, hoping the chef wouldn't be so encouraged by my return that he try and take me as an apprentice, when I saw a short, awkward, dark-haired boy mixan assortment of condiments in a bowl and then apply the concoction to his pasta. I'm fairly certain I saw milk and hot sauce go in there.

"Well damn, there's a man after my own heart," The chef bellowed, apparently seeing a fellow experimenter in the culinary arts, "You're making your own sauce and everything. You want to come work for me? Come here, let me taste that sauce you made."

I think they were soul mates.