The Overplanner's Guide to Pregnancy

Tomorrow was slated to be the first day that my husband and I officially started trying to get me pregnant. According to the fertility calculators (based on the last day of my first period and my average cycle length of 28 days), I will begin my fertile time tomorrow. Unfortunately, after a visit to my new gynecologist on Friday, our plans have been halted-for several months. Let me explain...

About three weeks ago, I went to see my old gynecologist, Dr. Murphy. I had not been to the gyno in over two years, and I knew that before trying to get pregnant, I should be examined and get a pap smear, and all that fun and gross stuff. During the exam, Dr. Murphy said he felt something that he suspected was a fibroid. Although he did not provide much explanation about what fibroid was, I did extensive research when I got home, and what I discovered was that this thing could potentially hurt my chances of conceiving...and even worse, it could considerably increase my risk of miscarriage once I do conceive. Of course, it would all depend on the size and location of the fibroid, and so I was scheduled for transvaginal and transabdominal ultrasounds.

My husband took me to my ultrasound appointment because he knew that I was very nervous about what the results would be. Unfortunately, the ultrasound technician could not tell me anything that day - she just told me that I would have the results in three days. Well, a week and a half later, I still had not heard anything - and I was about ready to pull my hair out. I called the office and was told that my results were not even in the computer yet and they didn't know when I would hear back from the doctor. It could be another week or so. What?! This information may not be of any significant importance to you, I thought, but to me, it is very important. I explained to the woman on the phone that I am going to be trying to get pregnant and that I need this information before I can move forward with that. I had to plead with her to let me speak to Dr. Murphy so that I could try to get more information. She finally caved.

When Dr. Murphy got on the phone, he told me that he could go downstairs and look at the ultrasound. Huh?! That's what I am waiting for - someone to walk downstairs?! Strike 2! About ten minutes later, he called me back and told me that he saw a 6 cm. (diameter) fibroid, that it's probably not a big deal, and that I could go ahead and try to get pregnant as planned. Feeling completely unsettled about the doctor's hasty advice, I called my husband to give him the news. My husband immediately took out a ruler to look at what 6 cm. is...and it's about the size of an orange. Yikes! That doesn't sound like a "no big deal" type of fibroid. After doing more research online, I discovered that a fibroid of that size could seriously impact my ability to carry a baby to full term, and in fact, fibroids often grow considerably during pregnancy due to surging hormones.

My husband and I decided to seek a second opinion.

This may seem like an unnecessarily long back story-but I do have a point... if you are not feeling good about your doctor or the way the doctor's office is being run, you should look for another doctor at another office. I certainly won't want to deal with this type of nonsense when I am pregnant, so maybe it's for the best that I found out now how things work with Dr. Murphy's office. His advice to do nothing and hope for the best just did not sound prudent to me. I mean - why should I knowingly enter into a risky pregnancy? I understand that many women have miscarriages even under ideal circumstances, but why would anyone want to increase their odds of having a miscarriage? I asked friends and family members for recommendations, and I made an appointment to see another doctor, Dr. Verhoest, the following week. I am so glad that I made this appointment.

Dr. Verhoest spent at least an hour talking to me and my husband in his office about what we should do. He explained that my fibroid was larger than my uterus, and that this meant there was a strong chance that it would cause problems. This was not a "do nothing and hope for the best" type of fibroid. Many women have fibroids, but many fibroids are tiny (like apple seeds). Mine is very large and could put me into preterm labor. Dr. Verhoest said he has seen women lose pregnancies at 21 and 22 weeks because of this type of problem. Anyone can imagine a loss that far into pregnancy can be extremely devastating. Dr. Verhoest scheduled me for a robot assisted myomectomy. He is confident that he will be able to remove the fibroid without damaging my reproductive organs, thereby making my chances of achieving a healthy pregnancy much greater.

I have never had surgery of any kind before. I have never been under general anesthesia, which I will be. I have never been in a hospital overnight (as a patient). I am scared. However, I am an eternal optimist. Life has handed me a larger-than-lemon-sized tumor, and I am going to make lemonade out of it. Okay, that sounds revolting... what I mean is that I am going to try to believe that even though I have to put the brakes on the baby making (until three months after my surgery, which is scheduled for November 18^th), I am putting myself in a healthier state for pregnancy. Another lemon for my lemonade is that I found a much better gynecologist who is willing to take the time to explain things to me in detail.

So...I have to wait until about the end of February or March to start trying to conceive. What's an overplanner to do? Well, I will start on my prenatal vitamins and I will continue to try to get into the best shape possible for pregnancy. I think I will take a Pilates class or join an exercise boot camp (strong "core" muscles are good for pregnancy and childbirth). I am in pretty good shape right now, but I need busy work that will make me feel like I am still moving towards my baby goal in a productive way...exercise will be a beneficial distraction for now. There will be two weeks of recovery time after the surgery (meaning that I won't be able to work), so I will be able to spend that time reading a few more pregnancy or parenting books. Knowledge is power, and it is the life blood of an overplanner like me. Am I sad that I have to wait and nervous about going under the robotic knife? Sure I am. But now I have a new game plan, and I am going to make the best of it. My mom is right... at the end of all this, I will get a baby, so it's all going to be worth it in the end.