The Overtly Dark Side of Mike Huckabee

Mike Huckabee is a strange character. Like George W. Bush, he advocates big-government and higher spending, both of which are counter to conservative values. But that's not Huckabee's only contradiction. As a Southern Baptist sporting a Christian fundamentalist persona for his campaign, Huckabee's dark semi-satanic humor conveys another message that voters should heed. A few weeks ago, Huckabee suggested that his fellow Republican opponents kill themselves in a "warm tub of water with some razor blades in both hands." Now that's some sinister imagery for a man who spouts about worshipping Jesus and reading the Bible, as well as his nonexistent theology degree, in every other sentence.

From suggesting that his political opponents commit suicide to his latest remark during his Iowa hunting trip, Huckabee refers to the three pheasants he had just shot and says "these three birds said they would not vote for me on caucus night." Pointing to the dead birds he continues, "You see what happened to them; you vote for me you live, you don't - there you go." This pro-life former governor of Arkansas, has an unruly obsession with the death and destruction of others, which is probably not the best attribute for an aspiring president in the midst of war.

But death isn't the only thing Huckabee's obsessed with. The Baptist Minister is quoted as saying that he got into politics because he "knew government didn't have the real answers, that the real answers lie in accepting Jesus Christ into our lives." As governor he justified the expansion of government to control the rampant "broken humanity" that had overcome the U.S. That broken humanity is not accepting the Savior in our lives. In response to a school shooting in 1998, Huckabee says, "I hope we answer the alarm clock and take this nation back for Christ." And if Huckabee isn't answering an alarm clock, he's answering an imaginary phone call from Christ like he did at the Republican debate. When Rudolph Giuliani was asked if he believed in every word of the Bible during a Republican debate, Huckabee interrupted asking his opponent if he would like some help with the question, claiming he has a theology degree (he dropped out of the Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary after one year).

If Huckabee believes that every word in the Bible is the word of God, so be it. But to impose his beliefs on every citizen is crossing the line into fascism. As Sinclair Lewis once said, "when fascism comes to this country, it will be wrapped in the flag carrying the cross." His latest televised commercial targeted to Iowa, South Carolina, and New Hampshire foreshadows his ambition to amalgamate church and state, even if it divides the country between Christians and non-Christians. "What really matters," he says, "is the celebration of the birth of Christ." His Christmas greeting featured a "window" in the background that formed a cross in the frame. After being criticized for using subliminal manipulation, Huckabee says "Paul is dead. Paul is dead," prompting Ron Paul supporters to wonder if this was yet another death remark targeted to his political opponent. His remark could have been a reference to a Beatles song that references the words when heard backwards.

Indeed, Huckabee is difficult to understand. Being a merciful pro-lifer, Huckabee advocates prison reform. His inspiration? Make prisons more like Guantanamo. After visiting the detention camp, notorious for its torturous interrogation tactics, Huckabee remarks that "most of our prisoners would love to be in a facility more like Guantanamo." Some presidential candidates talk about shutting down Guantanamo, but Mike Huckabee wants to bring Guantanamo to the U.S. and confine citizens. To make the story even more insane, Huckabee went as far as to say that "If anything [Guantanamo], it's too nice." Could this be a reflection of poor judgment or blatant malevolence? Either way, it's alarmingly disturbing.

If Ron Paul is 2008's Dr. No, Mike Huckabee is Reverend Yes. This pro-life, pro-higher taxes, pro-big government, pro-increased spending, pro-interventionist, and pro-illegal immigration (not to mention pro-church and state) minister of death has now joined the ranks of the Council on Foreign Relations (CFR). Since his speech at the CFR in September, Huckabee's popularity in the media has soared despite his humble fundraising donation of $1,034,486 in the third quarter, putting him behind Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, Ron Paul, and Fred Thompson. Huckabee raised just under $5 million in the fourth quarter, putting him further behind in the race, but ever so idolized on television for his extremist, fundamentalist views.

If Huckabee is anti-anything, it's smoking. Listen up, smokers, during a presidential cancer forum, Huckabee said he would sign a law to ban smoking nationally in public places, as he did in Arkansas. His argument is that second-hand smoking is like "pouring radon gas." And despite what his crude, morbid "humor" has revealed about him, Huckabee's would certainly not want you to contract lung cancer from second-hand smoking.