The Palmetto Bug: Also Called Florida's State Bird

Once you have a Florida Palmetto Bug in your bedroom, you are never the same.

Understand that I am no sissy girl, afraid of bugs. As a kid I collected grasshoppers, frogs, ladybugs and even had an ant farm. I am not easily scared. I raised 3 sons, baited my own fish hooks and trained two big German Shepherds.

Since moving to Florida, I have dealt with armadillos, fruit rats, opossums, turkey vultures; snakes and frogs in my pool, and 2 alligators: one in the shrubbery and one in the driveway. I consider myself brave and most importantly clean.

I try to keep a "spotless" house and rarely see any bugs. My kitchen is clean, and any food is stored in covered containers. I got rid of some tiny Florida sugar ants a few months ago the green way, with cinnamon, borax and vinegar. .

But all that seems so long ago. I have a totally different outlook on life now, ever since an enormous Florida Palmetto bug tried to kill me.

"Palmetto bug" is a southern euphemism for the giant flying armored cockroach that lives in the southeastern U.S. It s also called the American cockroach.

A big, blackish brown, beetle-like creature, it can fly. It is also one of the fastest running insects. Its speed compares to that of a cheetah.

Palmetto bugs live outside or inside your house, in the walls and drains. They are the largest home-infesting cockroaches known. They also give off a nasty odor. They spread disease and filth like smaller roaches do, and they can trigger allergies and asthma.

Palmetto bugs are not the shy little roach that runs across your desk at work. They are big (the size of a small mouse) crispy-crunchy, hard and bold. They won't hesitate to fly in your face or run across your toes. They are enormous and fearless and are not scared away by turning on the light and they will bite.

If you live or vacation in the south and have managed to avoid them, consider yourself fortunate. I thought that I was one of the lucky ones, but last week my luck changed.

For a few days I had noticed a few of these creatures in my kitchen and closet; but they were lying on their backs, half dead or totally dead. Figuring they came inside while we were unloading groceries, and that my cinnamon-vinegar-borax pesticide had killed them, I dumped them outside without a second thought. That is until one fateful, awful night last week.

After enjoying a nice dinner and a walk, hubby and I returned to our shared office to do some computer work. Around midnite I decided to go to bed. Relaxed and sleepy, I switched on the bedroom light and there it was....an enormous blackish-brown, very much alive, Palmetto bug right beside my bed, staring at me.

Being barefoot and unarmed, I screamed for my husband and threw a box of Kleenex at it. My husband, also barefoot and nearly blind without his glasses, came running, and the battle began.

With all the yelling, cursing and chasing, the bug took off and disappeared. I screamed to my husband to move the bureau while I grabbed my slipper to smack the monster once it came out. It came out alright, right out of the slipper I was holding.

It ran down my arm and down my bare leg onto my bare feet, as the sound track from the knife and shower scene in "Psycho" played full blast in my head. Then the thing ran out of the bedroom into the peaceful quiet of our pitch dark house.

We spent a couple of hours trying to find it, but eventually gave up. Sleep did not come easily that night as I stayed awake, imagining moving dark spots and feeling crawling sensations.

As soon it was daylight, I went online to a local pest control company and made a reservation for someone to come out and help us. When I clicked on "roach" problem I felt ashamed, disgusting and dirty. I am a house-keeping failure. My perfect house has roaches.

At 8 A.M., Isaac, a very professional bug technician arrived. He put out bait and sprayed both inside and outside. He assured us the spray was safe. The signs on his truck parked in our driveway, nicely advertised our roach infestation to the entire neighborhood.

Isaac looked concerned and suggested we sign up for his special year-long roach control program for $355, which we eagerly did. He said he would come any time we need him and promised to return in two weeks to spray again.

Now, I live in a toxic house. I have had a headache for 2 days. We had to leave the house for several hours to get away from the spray smell. Outside we have seen several dead Palmetto bug corpses, inside the house about four.

I am a nervous wreck. I watch where I walk. I constantly scan the walls and ceilings of my once safe home. I don't put on any clothes or shoes without shaking them out first. I am permanently on Red Alert.

I mop, scour, vacuum and spray every surface, every day. We've counted only a few corpses, but still I worry they are in here, just waiting.

I have lost my appetite and also my innocence. My world is no longer safe. What's next...Bedbugs?

Maybe I need counseling.

Sources:

http://listverse.com/2009/03/30/10-fascinating-talking-points-about-cockroaches/

http://blog.ecosmart.com/index.php/2008/10/29/palmetto-bugs/

Personal Experience