The Paradox of Christmas Spirit

The weather outside is frightful. Sometimes it is cold, sometimes rainy, sleety, or snowy, but it is mostly testy. Black Friday was less than a week ago. I saw the ads for gifts anywhere from 50-99% off with coupon or application of store credit card. No interest for a convenient 90 days or so. Would not want anything to interfere with the ever delicate Christmas/Holiday spirit especially when it is in its infant stages. Oh, and I should also give proper credit to all those door buster prizes that sweeten the pot and make that 4 a.m. wake-up call.

I think all this spending is great. I believe in America and its commercialism. If people want to buy, who am I to tell them not too? I am also not that person that shouts from the rooftops to "remember the reason for the season." For one, there are plenty of people doing that and I do not steal thunder. Secondly, while Christmas is the main course, this time of year is full of other holidays and even though I am a Christian, I am totally fine with anyone who does not believe in Jesus celebrating giving gifts and having good will toward men.

However, I do notice an ever increasing frenzy ever complicated by the number of people under the age of, say about 15 or when they realize that Santa's budget is the same as Mom and Dad's. I hear talk of "doing the shopping early" in order to "get it over with" or to not "deal with the crowds." That seems to be counter productive to the peach on earth goodwill toward men thing. So, why does each year's bounty have to outdo the one from the year before? I know humans can be pretty competitive, but this self-imposed quota has nothing put a stressful result. There are no gold medals for the family that actually manage to pile the gifts over the top of the 10 ft. tall tree.
I have found the secret of a stress-free, more meaningful Christmas/holiday season and it is pretty simple to say, but excruciatingly hard to do. About 5 years ago, I was a manager at a coffee house with a gift shop in the back.

Even though I got an employee discount, the items were marked up about 150% and I had plenty of credit cards. I also had the arduous task of making my brand new nephew's first Christmas super memorable, never mind that cognitive memory does not start until 3. He is my nephew. He would know if his aunt did not spend a ridiculous amount on items that have probably been put in a yard sale by now. That year, I continued to spend, even though I was not sure where rent was coming from. In the following 364 days, I got a wake-up call. I realized that my finances would not handle my day to day indulgences so the little extras I thought would make Christmas special were officially out. Therefore, I had a conversation with my family. I told them that the pleasure of my company and maybe some stocking stuffers was all the gifts I would be able to do. I felt the need to make that announcement, because I knew part of my problem with my Christmas shopping was to "give back" appropriately. For example, I could not accept a plasma screen television if I had given the giver a pair of nice socks. So, I warned my family that they would not be getting back, just in case that was their motivation. This way, my guilt level at not giving back was not as high. I could not just quit cold turkey that year. I did spend about $10 per stocking on fun little stuffers but that was it.

That year I did feel a little guilty about what I received, but I had warned them way before the shopping season. Plus, I have yet to find a store that does not have a return policy if you have the receipt.

The next year I was fresh out of college which meant, still no money. So regardless of my grand plans, only the meager ones came to life...and I became OK with that. Year after year, I have bought less and realized that there are some "gifts" out there that I yearn for more than Tickle Me Elmo. I enjoy making and eating good food around a table filled with people that I want to be around and can make me laugh. I enjoy a great fire or one that is dying down, bottle of wine, my husband and our furry children napping beside.

I do realize that because I do not have human children, parents may read this and say, "easy for the woman with no kids to say." Frankly, Moms and Dads of young children will have a harder time getting those young men and ladies to understand that the present pile may be smaller. However, not only are kids smarter than they are given credit for, they also have bigger hearts that will eventually shrink when they get older. Children also watch their parents and if their parents are giving more emphasis on family time than present time and being consistent with what they say, the lesson is sent and received.

The whole point of this narrative is to give hope. It is not a runaway train. You can stop the momentum and do this time of year different. You are the adult who pays the bills. If the budget does not have room for a Trump style Christmas, cut yourself a break and bake some cookies. The kids will be excited and will make the house smell great. I can still remember what kinds of cookies and candies Mom made during the holidays but I could not tell you even ONE present I have gotten over the years that made my Christmas and would have ruined it without it. Think about that next time you are making sure you get everything on little Jimmy's wish list. They are either full of lead paint or will shoot your eye out anyway.

It will take some time, but eventually this time will be just another excuse to call your best friends and have them over. It will not be the time of year that seems to build up to a fat credit card bill come January. Give what will make you feel good both before and after. Have a great Holiday season and Merry Christmas.