The Penny King Chronicles, Issue #1: Who is the Penny King?

"They" say a cat has nine lives. I would like to ask "Who the heck are THEY?" My cat has used all nine and then some in a year or less, and he's still alive. My point here is you can't always believe what you hear, like in the case of the infamous Penny King.

A subject of many articles by Alex Gabor, the Penny King has done it all. He buys up pennies, gives financial advice, is into film and music production, and rides an electric bike. He always has a lot to say, but speaks ONLY through the mouthpiece of Alex Gabor--but why?

In another story Alex Gabor refers to the Penny King as a "fictitious"character or hints that he himself is known as the Penny King.

I go back to the cat theory. You can't always believe what you hear. The Penny King is much too elusive to be the makings of one man's imagination. I figured if he was real, he'd be a great character to prey on for a tell-all biography book.

So, if curiosity is the real killer of the cat, then so it would be of me also. I kept thinking how great my book would be, and I'd call it the Penny King Chronicles. I'd interview the infamous Penny King, what makes him tick, what kind of woman he likes, and how he became such an international guru.

I set out on a quest to find the so-called Penny King. I did a little research and found that he likes to hang in Seattle, often offering the homeless a cup of java, or working on film productions. I even heard he joined a band in his spare time. I figured that if worse came to worse, at least I'd find grunge band Pearl Jam and say "hi" to them. I was a fan you know....

The drive mapped out would take 42 hours of steady driving-a cross country road trip that I thought would be THE ultimate experience of a lifetime. I drive from Maryland to Maine all the time, and that's 18 and I can do it nonstop. I figured that my Seattle stint would only take three days with two major stops in between. I wanted to visit a few states along the way.

Unfortunately, it took me two weeks to drive to Seattle from Maryland. (Probably because I should have checked my oil after the first 20 hours of continuous driving. ) Within a few hours I found myself broken down on the side of the road and spending an eight day stint in South Dakota. My cell phone was out of service and a local charged me $50 to get to the nearest auto body shop. A mechanic named "Zeek" felt sorry for me after having my vehicle towed and shaking his head at my engine, and referred me to stay at his sister "Lorna's" small motel. She gave me the best room, but the sixties shag carpet and smell of fifty years of cigarette nicotine build up made me want to vomit. This turned into a week stay (at the valued customer rate of $320) and a $2300 labor, parts, and towing bill on my engine. I maxed out one credit card but what could I do?. Add in the food I had all week from "Sylvia's Home Cookin" and you do the math. I found myself eating things I'd never heard of -the homemade Bison Biscuits were a real treat but had me in the bathroom for hours.

I had gone too far to turn back now. Let's just say, I'm not a big fan of South Dakota anymore. I continued on and finally reached Seattle. It was amazing and I visited the Space Needle which I highly suggest to anyone. Small neighborhoods are referred to as "districts" . In Baltimore, they are called, "hoods." Most place in Baltimore you can't really hang out on corners as you would be shot. This is normal practice in most of downtown Seattle. What a total difference in civilization. The Fremont district is filled with eclectic music, and the North End is also a must for coffee shops. I'd had a rough week, so I had to take some time out.

My first stop was a street band wearing what looked to be Penny King shirts. I listened to some of their music, and then asked them if they knew of the Penny King. They looked at each other and waited for one person to answer, as if I asked them a hard question.

I pleaded with them. "I'm from Baltimore and it took me two weeks to get here, I have to find him, It's very important.

One man asked me "Are you from the IRS?" A man selling newspapers offered me one for $1. I bought it. I noticed it read "thirty-five cents."

I laughed and told him "No, I'm an author and I wanted to write a book on the Penny King. I think he's amazing."

They said I could find a guy named Alex Gabor, who is working out of a local production studio and scribbled the address on a business card. They said Alex could tell me where he was. A quick stop in a coffee shop and a check of oil at a local gas station landed me directions to Alex's place of business.

I was greeted by what appeared to be a porn star who appeared to be of Indian heritage. I asked for Alex but she stated he was filming a movie. She asked if I wanted to learn about Tantric Sex and I declined. I did tell her I wanted to find the Penny King. A grin came over her face and she closed her eyes chanting, "Ahhh the Penny Kingggggg, he is soooo fineee."

I asked her, "Does he exist?"

She whispered, "Shhh, Alex may hear. Of course he does, as the moon and the stars and the chakras exist. He has left for the Hollywood Hills, you have missed him only by a few hours. He is going to lay under the Hollywood Hills sign and has to meet with some of the locals. They know him well there. Just ask for him and you will find him."

Just then I saw what appeared to be a Hungarian man's naked rear end. SEE IT HERE. The porn star said she was ready for her role in the movie. I knew it was time to exit gracefully.

I spent a few hours in my hotel mapping out my route, and set off for the Hollywood Hills. I had a long way to go, but I was ready.

I was off to find the Penny King!