The Penny-Pincher Test

Are you the grasshopper or the ant? If you've ever wondered whether you fell into the prudent and practical category or worried that you lean toward mean and miserly; wonder and worry no more. Take the penny-pincher test, see how things add up, and find your bottom line.

1. Your bananas have ripened to the "almost liquid" stage. You:

1. Spoon in one hand, shooing away fruit flies with the other, eat them anyway.
2. Rediscover your banana bread recipe and give them to the neighbors disguised as a gift.
3. Donate them to a zoo so you can write them off as a tax deduction.
4. Add vodka for banana Daiquiris.

2. In the dead of winter, your kids have icicles hanging from their noses and you can no longer feel your fingers and toes. You:

1. Gently remove the icicles, and put them in the freezer to conserve water.
2. Move the furniture closer to the radiators and put another hat on everyone.
3. Visit the spendthrift neighbors who don't mind contributing to the global warming problem, hoping they don't remember the banana bread incident.
4. Turn the heat up to a reasonable 58 degrees.

3. You're down to two pairs of underwear, both of which are missing the elastic in one leg. You:

1. Combine the two pair into one and wash them out each night.
2. Start borrowing your neighbor's thongs from her clothesline.
3. Buy an extra pair at the local thrift shop.
4. Stop wearing underwear.

4. Your significant other wants to celebrate your one year anniversary. Being impressed with his/her tenacity (a whole year with you!) you suggest:

1. Putting the celebration off until next year to give you time to save for a "real" celebration on your second anniversary.
2. A competition to see who can make the most "heart-felt," least expensive gift.
3. A romantic night under the covers with the lights off and the T.V. on.
4. The early-bird special at a local restaurant, but you'll leave the coupons home.

5. It's time to plan your vacation. Your family is torn between Disney World and a two-week Carnival Cruise. You solve the dilemma by:

1. Getting your doctor to write a note diagnosing a health condition that prevents travel. Ever.
2. Pitching a tent in the backyard and bribing your city councilor to declare your neighborhood a wildlife sanctuary.
3. Borrowing the neighbor's rowboat and taking the family for a spin on their pond while watching Mickey Mouse cartoons on your laptop computer.
4. Planning your usual family vacation - two weeks at the in-laws' time-share in Florida.

6. When it comes to giving gifts to friends and family, you:

1. Consider your entertaining presence more than gift enough
2. Make your own, using leftover bread bags and empty toilet paper rolls
3. Buy everything on sale with coupons throughout the year.
4. Religiously re-gift, but keep scrupulous records to avoid re-gifting to the giver faux pas.

7. Trying to cut down on the electric bill, you:

1. "Forget" to buy light bulbs on a regular basis.
2. Sell all your clocks on eBay, and make everyone wear a watch.
3. Train your toddler to unplug all the appliances with the theory that the rest of your family will A.) think it's broken and find something else to do or B.) be too lazy to keep bending over to plug things back in.
4. Schedule daily black-outs to practice for potential power outages.
5. All of the above.

8. Trying to save on gas, you:

1. Sell the car piece by piece.
2. Practice your hitchhiking technique.
3. Learn to rollerblade uphill.
4. Offer a reward to the neighborhood kid with the best gas siphoning technique.

9. When it comes to shopping, you fall into the following category:

1. Make a list, check it twice, sticking to it feels so nice.
2. Keep entering your real name in the Bargain-Hunting Bimbo of the day contest (No purchase necessary).
3. A set of keys and a roll of quarters make any item a "scratch and dent" deal.
4. Dumpsters - A step up from your average shopping experience.

10. When discussing money with your mate, the words you most often hear are:

1. Skinflint
2. Tightwad
3. Penny-pincher
4. I want a divorce.

11. Trying to reduce the phone bill, you:

1. Install a payphone in the kitchen.
2. Make all your long distance calls from work.
3. Record a "this number is no longer in service" message on your cell phone voice mail.
4. Buy string and two paper cups.

12. When deciding whether or not to have children, you consider:

1. The cost of maternity clothes.
2. The cost of diapers.
3. The cost of college.
4. The cost of goldfish vs. children.

13. Your paycheck just isn't keeping up with your expenses. You:

1. Develop a taste for the freeze dried soup packets you steal from the company kitchen.
2. Seriously consider (or ask your spouse to seriously consider) a third job as a surrogate mother.
3. Sell one of your kidneys on eBay.
4. Buy more vodka for the daiquiris.

So are you thrifty or stingy? The bottom line is - If you felt compelled to take this test, you probably already knew the answer.