The PenUltimate March Madness Office Pool Guide

March Madness is almost upon us. Can you smell it? It resembles the scent of Top Ramen and crisp twenty dollar bills. The NCAA tournament is your opportunity to win some easy money while pretending be a productive employee. Like winning money? use my tips and advice. Hate winning money? You're weird, but should continue to read this anyway.

March Madness: Don't get too upset.
Upsets are a given in the NCAA tournament. The best team doesn't always dominate. That's one of the things that makes College sports so entertaining. It's the whole prospect of the unexpected outcome that looms over each precised lock. Try not to go upset crazy though. It would be asinine to think that Tennessee could go down in the first round to Burnt Sienna Technical College. If such a school existed, they wouldn't have a chance against the play calling schemes by the orange tinted Bruce Pearl. Limit upsets to a maximum of 6 in the first two rounds.

March Madness: Costumed crazies.
Avoid teams who have stupid mascots. By stupid, I'm not talking about a ram with blue horns. Stupidity in this case is signified by the Stanford Christmas Tree. Why is a dancing tree representing a college team? Why does it have arms, and a Joke type of smile?I'm thinking gallons upon gallons of booze were involved in that things conception.

March Madness: Sports Animals.
All of our four legged friends have an uncanny ability to see the future.. If you wn a Quigi board, and have a friend who isn't squimish about her cat being used as a furry and demonic version of ESPN's Howie Schwab, you can stand to learn a lot of interesting things about sports. I once put a gerbil on a Monopoly board, and it taught me how to do my own taxes. results may vary, depending on materials/species used.

March Madness:The number one pick(er).
You should do everything in your power to appease the resident sports expert in your workplace. Don't waste time with trying to mooch information from them. That's a big waste of time. Seeing as they are more likely to win than mere mortals such as yourself, befriending them and taking their winnings once they end up missing later on is the best course of action. Just make sure to secure a remote location for the body. Bridge overpasses and ditches have been done to death(pun intended).